There are never times I am more thankful for the husband I have been given then when it comes to times I am needing discernment and wisdom. Sean has a gift of both. He isn’t much for emotions, but he is great with wisdom to navigate them well and through the corrective lense of Gods truth! Always pointing me back to God and challenging my heart.
I’m so thankful for the godly leadership he consistently provides our home and family and my heart!
Taking time to reflect and share my heart tonight gave him the opportunity to help me navigate what I’m wrestling.
The question is, so the Bible says Job admitted the LORD gave and the LORD took away. But the Bible also says the enemy steals, kills and destroys. So who is it that takes away? The LORD? Or the enemy?
“Great question”, so said hubs.
Then he went on to talk me through the numerous times God did take away.
Hard to talk about, right?!
He took out entire armies, people who disregarded His law, men and women who dishonored His name and power. And yes, He even took David’s son, a child, because of his fathers sin.
So, God does take away.
The next question that led Sean to was, “So does He have the right to do that?”
Ultimately, the answer is yes. God is the Creator. He has the right.
Then Sean went into discussing our children and Joeli and how ultimately our kids are Gods, not ours. They are only being lent to us on “borrow”.
“This is why it’s so important to treat them well.” Sean said.
If our children and my niece and nephew and our families and all our possessions and blessings are ultimately His to do with as He sees fit, to accomplish His purposes in and through, we ought to love open palmed. Living lives surrendered to the will, the call, the purposes and plans of the Creator.
That is a really hard place to be, especially when it comes to things that are good and don’t seem to serve much of a “greater good” in losing... like a mother in laws health, who has great faith and is a giver and full of love and kindness... and like a nephew who had the opportunity for an entire life that could have been a living testimony of answered prayers and faith... and like my daughter who had her whole life taken before we could even raise her.
It’s hard.
But it is, they are ALL HIS.
I admit it with my heart God.
They’re all Yours. Help me walk open fisted even with the most precious blessings You’ve ever given me undeservedly. My Joeli. My nephew, Jason. My family and our future.
It’s all Yours.
♥️
Each day make a joyful noise in this backWORDZ world. Choose to live life moment by moment in the extravagant love of your Father.
Tuesday, July 10, 2018
Bless Us In Our Brokenness
Once again, God spoke to my heart in just the way I needed. He does see me and hear me and know me.
As a family we have been reading through Genesis for our nightly family devotion time. Last night happened to be chapter 29. The story of Jacob and Rachel... and Leah. Leah, feeling broken, barren and hurting, and in that broken state, God had compassion on her plight and blessed her.
In Jesus name, Amen.
My own words in the side notes were what struck me most...
When God speaks to our hearts using our own words to remind us of things He has already spoken to our hearts...
Have you ever been there?
God loves to bless us in our brokenness and barren state.
and,
God
Yes, God, is the One who gives life. But what about the taking?
“He gives and takes away blessed be the name of the Lord” some of the hardest lyrics to sing after we lost Joeli. Do I really believe that? Do I really want to sing that? I do believe He is the giver of life. But it’s much easier to believe the enemy is the taker of life. And that’s what I have come to believe through scripture that says it is the thief who came to steal, kill and destroy... but Job said the LORD gave and the LORD took away.
Job 1:20 At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship 21 and said:
“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
and naked I will depart.[c]
The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;
may the name of the Lord be praised.”
and naked I will depart.[c]
The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;
may the name of the Lord be praised.”
22 In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing.
So, is it the LORD or is it the enemy? I think I’m wrestling with this because I want it to be the enemy so that I can get really angry and blame him, rather than it be God and have to wrestle through my anger and figure it out between God and I.
2 Samuel 6:6 gives an example of Gods wrath, but what about my nephew, my daughter, babies? They have not incited the LORD to wrath! Why would we think God has taken them?
6 When they came to the threshing floor of Nakon, Uzzah reached out and took hold of the ark of God, because the oxen stumbled. 7 The Lord’s anger burned against Uzzah because of his irreverent act; therefore God struck him down, and he died there beside the ark of God.
8 Then David was angry because the Lord’s wrath had broken out against Uzzah, and to this day that place is called Perez Uzzah.[e]
9 David was afraid of the Lord that day and said, “How can the ark of the Lord ever come to me?”
DAVID WAS ANGRY!
It doesn’t specifically say he was angry AT the LORD, but it does say he was angry and scared enough to not want to take the ark to his house. So my assumption is he was angry at and scared of the LORD. The thing that’s quite amazing about David, and quite possibly why the LORD says he is a man after God’s own heart, is that even through things as traumatic and terrible as losing your friend at the hand of God Almighty, David still danced before the LORD, praised Him, obeyed Him, and was willing to make a spectacle of himself in doing so! And only just verses after being ANGRY!
So I wonder, how did David move from being angry at and scared of God, to being willling to obey and worship Him and even make a spectacle of himself in doing so?
David was open with God and sought after Him through every emotion, every up and down, every heartache and fear and all the unknowns. He sought God and he was determined to repent and keep seeking Him when necessary too.
God, I want to be like David. But I am angry. I am questioning why. I am hurting and broken. I will keep choosing to seek You in the hurt, I won’t turn away. I just wish I understood more. This is why I cried out to you after losing Joeli for even just
GLIMPSES
Of what You are doing! I think I need this again! My heart and flesh are weak. Yes, my spirit is willing, oh God. But why?! Why couldn’t Jason and Joeli be made well? I may never fully understand Your plans, I know that. But would you please give my heart even glimpses of what you are doing in this season of brokenness of also seeing my mother in law suffer so?! I need to know You are in this! Please keep reassuring me. I’m sorry I’m so weak and hurt right now. Please comfort my family and my heart and please send angels to protect my sweet little niece and grow her strong and healthy and that she could come home soon! Like the passage I read the night before I found out Jason had the LUTO condition, we are clinging to You and wrestling with You. I'm going to wrestle with you for the blessing. Leah did not have to wreslte. Do I need to? I feel like I am wrestling with You right now whether I need to or not. Help my mind to understand and accept what my heart already believes-that You are worthy of my praise and honor whether I understand if you took away or if the enemy takes... Do I have to understand every question I have in order to continue to follow You and believe You are worthy of my praise and of my heart?
No.
But I wish I did even if I never do, I will choose to keep praising you like the song says
And I'll praise you in this storm
And I will lift my hands
That you are who you are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise you in this storm
And I will lift my hands
That you are who you are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise you in this storm
Monday, July 9, 2018
It Is Spring, But I’m Back To Broken
I have not blogged since September. That seems rather fitting, since October began an on slot of difficulty and new level of busy for our family. I’ve decided for my own mental health it’s time to start blogging again. Writing helps me process the good, the bad, and the ugly.
In October my Mother in Law Lynn had a flare up of her chronic UTI’s from her condition called Multiple System Atrophy-Parkinsonism or MSA-P for short. Her condition is stealing every aspect of her life and though it is said people do not die from Parkinson’s, they die with it, it is said that people die from MSA. This illness is literally robbing her of every aspect of her life before it takes her life. Sometimes when I allow myself to go there I do get mad about that. It’s especially upsetting seeing the Lewy Body Dementia, another symptom of the MSA, rob her mind and presence from us. It’s hard to be so honest because believing in Christ and a hope for a future sometimes makes Christians feel like in order to be impactful or faith filled we have to somehow lose the humanity in ourselves and our grip on reality. We somehow feel like being Christian means we have to bypass grief and loss and move right into acceptance and “faith” and being okay with “our lot in life”.
IT’S A LIE.
Grieve spirit within me, grieve the loss and the heartache of watching my mother in law suffer debilitating pain, chronic infections, moments of helplessness and hopelessness and bitter heartache at all that’s being robbed from her and from us.
Grieve hard.
Grieve with hope, yes, but grieve nonetheless.
October through January saw us making a drive to E-town to help care for her and my Father-in-Law very often. I am so grateful for and proud of the way our whole family banded together through this difficult season. My brother and sister in law help so much to give insight, to be examples of sacrificing, to help literally and figuratively pick up Mom countless times. I don’t know how families get through these types of difficult long illnesses without the love and support of one another and of turning all our heartaches, questions, and prayers to God. Then brought countless hours of discussing how to figure out what comes next for our families. It was difficult decisions to be made. It was sacrifices and prayer. It was concerns and unknowns. And then when the decision was finally made to build an addition and take my In-Laws in, it was countless hours of builders, contractors, and loud noises invading our homeschool time. The journey has NOT been easy. Seeing how much my Mother in laws illness has impacted our whole family and especially taken a toll on my father in laws health too is so hard.
Before October, I was facing yet another one in an on slot of friendship heartaches. I poured my heart and soul out in prayer and belief and in the end it became clear that lies and deception were won over honesty and pursuit of following Gods Word. There is almost no heartache in life as bitter as pouring yourself out for someone only to have your love rejected and your promises broken and your words betrayed. Jesus knows betrayal. Especially friendship betrayal and heartaches. So I do keep leaning into that but it does not mend my broken heart, it simply gives me some relief knowing He knows the pain and journeys in it with me. He knows the brokenness of reaching out a helping hand only to have that hand slapped away in rejection. I have been wounded in some deep ways and God sees my struggles with feeling betrayed and let down and He is walking with me through it. He has given me glimpses of His hand at work in me through it. He has allowed people to speak into my brokenness and give me peace. He has allowed some healing and a Spring to begin in the area of betrayal and brokenness. He has been giving me this vision of Spring a new season He was entering me into.
The Spring began.
But almost as soon as it felt like the Spring season was beginning in my spiritual life, a brokenness has come in.
I’m reminded that with Spring comes the tilling. The soil of my soul is being broken and tilled up so that something can be planted. I don’t know exactly what it is yet, but I am believing God for the planting season to be upon me. Even as I write this, I feel God speaking to my heart confirming that the brokennnes is a tilling time, the Spring is not over spiritually for me yet... He is in process in me.
So God, what are you planting in this brokenness? I feel so weighed down right now by the heartache of praying and crying out to you for my nephew Jason’s healing and believing for it in faith and then losing him. It’s not how I wanted their story to be. Maybe that is selfish? Maybe it is not faith filled enough? Maybe it is not Christian and surrendered enough? But it is the truth of where my heart is at right now. I hate this. It’s not fair and I am angry. God can handle my anger. I know it’s not a healthy place to be and I need to work through it. I will. But for now, the soil of my soul is being tilled and it is a pretty altering, uprooting, shaken and stirred experience.
Broken.
It is Spring, but I’m back to broken.
I recently stumbled upon a blog about the 22 emotions of planting season. I feel like frustration, emotion number 5, along with its picture ((a boulder stuck between farming equipment tilling up the field)) was very much where I am. I’ve hit a rock. It has stalled up the process of tilling. My progress is halted. I feel stuck and lost. I feel hurt and broken. God knows all this. He is absolutely Sovereign over all. Doesn’t mean He is going to fix it all, but it does mean He knows and sees.
Gods Word is absolutely where I need to land right now. It offers me corrective lenses in the blinding tears in the time of brokenness.
I see the beauty in this season too. I’m trying to, anyway. As my sister in law said at Jason’s funeral, “Though we did not get the miracle we all had prayed for, God was working miracles all along this journey.”
There will be something of beauty and value growing because of the readiness of the soil of my soul. In John 10:10 Jesus says, “The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy, but I have come that they may have life and life abundant!”
Jeremiah 24:6 My eyes will watch over them for their good, and I will bring them back to this land. I will build them up and not tear them down; I will plant them and not uproot them. 7 I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the Lord. They will be my people, and I will be their God, for they will returnto me with all their heart.
Lamentations 3:
For no one is cast off
by the Lord forever.
32 Though he brings grief, he will show compassion,
so great is his unfailing love.
33 For he does not willingly bring affliction
or grief to anyone.
So,
In October my Mother in Law Lynn had a flare up of her chronic UTI’s from her condition called Multiple System Atrophy-Parkinsonism or MSA-P for short. Her condition is stealing every aspect of her life and though it is said people do not die from Parkinson’s, they die with it, it is said that people die from MSA. This illness is literally robbing her of every aspect of her life before it takes her life. Sometimes when I allow myself to go there I do get mad about that. It’s especially upsetting seeing the Lewy Body Dementia, another symptom of the MSA, rob her mind and presence from us. It’s hard to be so honest because believing in Christ and a hope for a future sometimes makes Christians feel like in order to be impactful or faith filled we have to somehow lose the humanity in ourselves and our grip on reality. We somehow feel like being Christian means we have to bypass grief and loss and move right into acceptance and “faith” and being okay with “our lot in life”.
IT’S A LIE.
Grieve spirit within me, grieve the loss and the heartache of watching my mother in law suffer debilitating pain, chronic infections, moments of helplessness and hopelessness and bitter heartache at all that’s being robbed from her and from us.
Grieve hard.
Grieve with hope, yes, but grieve nonetheless.
October through January saw us making a drive to E-town to help care for her and my Father-in-Law very often. I am so grateful for and proud of the way our whole family banded together through this difficult season. My brother and sister in law help so much to give insight, to be examples of sacrificing, to help literally and figuratively pick up Mom countless times. I don’t know how families get through these types of difficult long illnesses without the love and support of one another and of turning all our heartaches, questions, and prayers to God. Then brought countless hours of discussing how to figure out what comes next for our families. It was difficult decisions to be made. It was sacrifices and prayer. It was concerns and unknowns. And then when the decision was finally made to build an addition and take my In-Laws in, it was countless hours of builders, contractors, and loud noises invading our homeschool time. The journey has NOT been easy. Seeing how much my Mother in laws illness has impacted our whole family and especially taken a toll on my father in laws health too is so hard.
Before October, I was facing yet another one in an on slot of friendship heartaches. I poured my heart and soul out in prayer and belief and in the end it became clear that lies and deception were won over honesty and pursuit of following Gods Word. There is almost no heartache in life as bitter as pouring yourself out for someone only to have your love rejected and your promises broken and your words betrayed. Jesus knows betrayal. Especially friendship betrayal and heartaches. So I do keep leaning into that but it does not mend my broken heart, it simply gives me some relief knowing He knows the pain and journeys in it with me. He knows the brokenness of reaching out a helping hand only to have that hand slapped away in rejection. I have been wounded in some deep ways and God sees my struggles with feeling betrayed and let down and He is walking with me through it. He has given me glimpses of His hand at work in me through it. He has allowed people to speak into my brokenness and give me peace. He has allowed some healing and a Spring to begin in the area of betrayal and brokenness. He has been giving me this vision of Spring a new season He was entering me into.
The Spring began.
But almost as soon as it felt like the Spring season was beginning in my spiritual life, a brokenness has come in.
I’m reminded that with Spring comes the tilling. The soil of my soul is being broken and tilled up so that something can be planted. I don’t know exactly what it is yet, but I am believing God for the planting season to be upon me. Even as I write this, I feel God speaking to my heart confirming that the brokennnes is a tilling time, the Spring is not over spiritually for me yet... He is in process in me.
So God, what are you planting in this brokenness? I feel so weighed down right now by the heartache of praying and crying out to you for my nephew Jason’s healing and believing for it in faith and then losing him. It’s not how I wanted their story to be. Maybe that is selfish? Maybe it is not faith filled enough? Maybe it is not Christian and surrendered enough? But it is the truth of where my heart is at right now. I hate this. It’s not fair and I am angry. God can handle my anger. I know it’s not a healthy place to be and I need to work through it. I will. But for now, the soil of my soul is being tilled and it is a pretty altering, uprooting, shaken and stirred experience.
Broken.
It is Spring, but I’m back to broken.
I recently stumbled upon a blog about the 22 emotions of planting season. I feel like frustration, emotion number 5, along with its picture ((a boulder stuck between farming equipment tilling up the field)) was very much where I am. I’ve hit a rock. It has stalled up the process of tilling. My progress is halted. I feel stuck and lost. I feel hurt and broken. God knows all this. He is absolutely Sovereign over all. Doesn’t mean He is going to fix it all, but it does mean He knows and sees.
Gods Word is absolutely where I need to land right now. It offers me corrective lenses in the blinding tears in the time of brokenness.
I see the beauty in this season too. I’m trying to, anyway. As my sister in law said at Jason’s funeral, “Though we did not get the miracle we all had prayed for, God was working miracles all along this journey.”
There will be something of beauty and value growing because of the readiness of the soil of my soul. In John 10:10 Jesus says, “The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy, but I have come that they may have life and life abundant!”
Jeremiah 24:6 My eyes will watch over them for their good, and I will bring them back to this land. I will build them up and not tear them down; I will plant them and not uproot them. 7 I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the Lord. They will be my people, and I will be their God, for they will returnto me with all their heart.
Lamentations 3:
For no one is cast off
by the Lord forever.
32 Though he brings grief, he will show compassion,
so great is his unfailing love.
33 For he does not willingly bring affliction
or grief to anyone.
So,
Psalm 27:13 (NIV)
13 I remain confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.
I will see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.
Tuesday, September 26, 2017
Barbs In The Eyes
So God has called me to be in a season of leaving... Or being left too...
Numbers 33 and 34
Today I read through these passages and I feel strongly like God is saying it is not just okay but it is absolutely necessary to free myself of destructive relationships. I am one who loves to learn and grow and be challenged in my thinking and my perceptions. So often I have used this as a reason for remaining in unhealthy and even unsafe (spiritually) relationships. However, God is showing me lately that it is not okay to allow people to challenge and alter my BELIEFS. He wants me to be steadfast and firm in my faith and in my knowledge and understanding of His Holy scriptures. And if someone is challenging HIM it is okay and even a MUST to actually make a clear path before myself, onto His ways. I do not have to be cruel or hateful toward someone opposed to Christ and His Holy Word, rather, I must PRAY like never before. So as I delete people from social media accounts who betray the gospel or who badger "fellow" believers I do so prayerfully, humbly and NOT vengefully or spitefully.
"But if you do not drive out the inhabitants of the land, those you allow to remain will become barbs in your eyes and thorns in your sides. They will give you trouble in the land where you live. And then I will do to you what I plan to do to them."
God, give me wisdom to Guard the treasure of Your Word within my heart. If those who are challenging your Word and Your people are being led astray, please convict them in their hearts and pull them back into your fold... But if they have no true walk of faith with you yet Father open their eyes to the hurt and disunity they are causing within your body. In taking these steps in going back to the basics please shield me from the enemy's arrows and give me strength to walk with you even when I feel alone. Lead me in your ways and teach me more of You! Let me hunger and thirst for more of You and more of your ways! Help me see the error of my own ways and keep my sins ever before me that I may stay humble and wise and in awe of your grace! You are worthy of my praise and adoration and of my service. Let me serve you with joy in every little or big thing I do! In Jesus name, amen!
So, as I sit here pondering what more God is saying I just wondered what is a barb exactly... So I looked it up and it is described as something meant to hook in an opposing manner and make removal difficult... To me, the deeper meaning of this passage is also that since He mentions it will affect the EYES that we must be so careful how we are seeing things and be very certain the enemy has not blinded us in the way we are viewing certain things... Because once we allow certain harmful or dangerous ways into our lives and hearts it becomes cloudy to see and difficult to remove these troubled ways... I will be asking God if there is anything hindering my vision and my perceptions keeping me from seeing things His way! God, remove any barbs from my eyes and help me see clearly again in Jesus name I ask! Amen!!
Sunday, September 24, 2017
Back to the basics
I hear God saying He is going to take me back to the basics.
Life can become so clouded and crowded. God wants my heart back to the basics.
HIS WORD! His purpose and pull in my life.
As the world seems to spin more and more out of control, I find myself pulled in many directions particularly on social media. So many people, even ones I love and respected, now posting things I can hardly believe-leaving me so disheartened. Others, whom I love and respected also not posting anything in response to troubling times, leaving me also disheartened for their lack of involvement in a time when voices of love and wise truth are so desperately necessary. I find my heart aching in the absence of truth bringers, as well as in the absence of truth supporters. I find myself concerned by muddied messages littered with half truths or watered down convictions and guidance.
God, bring us into Your arms and REVIVE us! Let me, let us LIVE again! Take me back to the basics and keep my eyes upon You and keep my lips willing to speak your truth even when I am betrayed because I do/did so. Keep my wandering heart upon Your path and keep my head bowed low in humble service of my King-my Savior-my Everything! Let me long for You, as the deer for the water. Let me be strong enough to lead and humble enough to follow Your lead!
I don't want to be so distracted and side tracked anymore. So as I hear Him calling me back to the basics I want to listen. It may take me some time to figure out exactly what this looks like for me, but one thing I know it surely means is limiting social media and going back to just Facebook. Facebook is enough. And even on Facebook there are so many people, even people who claim to follow Christ, who then oppose His Word and Truth and demean and petition against their supposedly fellow Christ-followers. Calling them "evangels" or "evangelicals" all the while touting their own new gospel of self.
I have done a lot of soul searching recently. We took time as a church to study Proverbs and through April our family had gone through the Proverbs Ditties again too. I was reminded of the importance of sifting out those in my life who are bad influences, who seek to serve the god of "self" and who are filled with anger, who remain in bitterness despite time and love and prayer. These influences do impact us. Not just in person, but on social media as well. And over time, I find my heart hurting more than helping these ones. God is reminding me it is His job to do the saving and my job to do the praying and using His wisdom in the times and ways I allow them into my life. When I do things His way I can do it to His glory and their good without having to sacrifice my own mental, emotional and spiritual well-being because of it. God wants us to be good stewards of the Love and Light He has given us! He wants us to be able to be free to live in the Light of eternity and to bring forth difficult truths to a dying world. We are called to be SALT! Salt is not just willing, but ready and able and wanting to be difference makers, to bring about CHANGE, to speak to a world that needs to hear the "offensive and intolerant" truths of our day. Truth like, without Christ we are dead in our sins and we face an eternity in hell. Truths like, killing an unborn child in the name of self is truly selfish and sinful, not loving to the mother who then faces emotional angst nor the child facing death. Truths like, without accepting Jesus as our Lord and Savior we are lost. And the truth, that it is sinful and selfish to live for ourselves in sexual immorality, homosexuality, pornography, etc. rather than humbly work to God's glory to live holy and acceptable lives according to His law. This world needs to hear the truth that there is a better way! It is Gods way! It is not easy. We need each other! We need His laws, the easy ones and the hard ones to help guide our paths. We need those willing to surrender being "unliked" and unpopular in order to bring these difficult truths to a lost, hurting and dying world! People need to hear that they are missing out on something better when they give themselves over to their desires rather than giving themselves over to God and obeying His word! Jesus paid such a high price! He paid in His own BLOOD! A life fully surrendered and committed to honoring the call of God no matter the cost. This is our greatest example of LOVE! How can we allow our "Christian" brothers and sisters to go amiss and preach a gospel of self gratification and self indulgence and self love and self fulfillment and pride rather than the true gospel of an emptying of self and a self-refilled and refueled by the grace and truth of Jesus our good good Teacher! Jesus, Himself, knew it would require a cross. We are living amiss of the true gospel if we feel no weight of the gospel we bear... If we feel no pain from the truth that leads us to wear the scars of those who may mock, spit, abuse, and oppose us because of our service and speaking forth the good Laws of the God who gave it all for us to live! And if we bear no cross of our own, the laying down of our passions and desires that wage war against God's ways; as a Christ follower, there WILL be a weight to bear. So, I ask myself often and I wonder if you would ask yourself along with me, God, what cross am I bearing to follow YOU? Have I truly laid it all down to follow YOU? Or am I holding something back in my lips, in my hands, in my time, with my eyes, with my feet etc...
So, anyway, I find myself looking back to my original intent in entering social media. Originally I entered social media to actually keep up with my family when I moved away. When I began using social media I enjoyed using it to be open and share my life with others as well as to be supportive and lovingly walk alongside my family and friends in theirs. Social media became a very difficult place for me when I had difficult times. In so many ways I wanted to share more and speak freely exactly who I am and the triumphs and trials alike that I faced because I am a very open person...
But deep inside I still find myself longing for real face to face friendships and family relationships that truly breathe life into my spirit, accept me for who I am but spur me on toward love and good deeds and obedience to Christ no matter the cost! I don't find that on social media any longer.
In times of weakness, social media can be more than a distraction, it can easily become a temptation as well as lead me into sadness in various ways and I want to honor God with what I put into my mind and who I choose to spend my time interacting with. If nothing else, it is a place for boundaries to be put in place if honoring God is on our hearts! Honoring Him with our time, with our eyes, with our hands (which become our lips so to speak when it is online "typing") and our heart--what we set our affections and devotion upon.
This back to the basics call is not going to be easy. But I do think it is what He is calling me to.
When I cleaned out our garage the other day I found all kinds of old pictures. I wondered if God had anything to speak to my heart in that find. At the time, He did not. But as I sat with Him on it, I felt Him whispering that this was a prompting and He was calling me to "go back" not to that time or to re do or undo anything... But rather, to simplify. To walk humbly with my God. To be the real me, honest and filled with His Word and Light!
This led me to delete my YouVersion Bible APP too. In so many areas I feel Him calling me BACK to the BASICS. I am devoting myself to reading the physical Bible again. Highlighting, marking, paging through and paging through, making notes, seeing the story come together again as a WHOLE picture!
To go back, also, to leading my kids in love toward Jesus and His Word (the physical Bible) before and above anything else. It is so easy to feel like a failure with raising the kids and teaching them too. But, God is reminding me that He is in the simple things... Like a silly song, a happy hug, a walk across the way, and time to stop and really SEE His creation! He reminded me of this especially last week when the kids and I spent some time in the PA Grand Canyon. I did not even purpose to not take a single photograph while we were away... But it happened that way anyway. I did not take my phone with me most places because we barely have any reception up there. So, it was amazing to me how I feel like I can really remember details more because I did not make the time to photograph every image that blessed my heart or spoke to my heart. I simply let it speak to me in that moment and I cherished my times more. I listened to the sound of the birds instead of trying to meticulously capture them on camera and then creatively post about what I experienced. And I spied the most unbelievably unique assortment of mushrooms during our long lovely hikes and I can vividly picture in my mind the details of each kind. But I have not a single picture to show for it! That actually feels so immensely good! In so many ways!
I long for God to take me back to the basics! In my ways of being a wife. In the way I mother. In the way I live as a daughter and sister and friend. And in the way I choose to serve Him and His body.
Whatever this may lead to, and however it may look over the long haul, I'm not exactly sure. But what I do know is that He has been leading me in this way for quite sometime now and I have just been unsure of exactly what He was trying to say until now.
So, with that in mind, I am deleting many off of my social media accounts who have been a negative influence, who I don't know well, and who speak against the Church and God's Word. I am also getting rid of my Instagram followers and who I follow so that I will not be on Instagram any longer. I love love love pictures so I don't want to delete my account and lose those, but I will no longer be using my account. I have already deleted my Twitter account as that was just a distraction and often brought disgusting follower requests which were just a source of frustration and added sadness to my heart. I wanted to let anyone interested in knowing my reasoning behind me ending many accounts and lessening my "friends" list, this is why. I want to honor God with my heart, with my mind, with my eyes, with my hands and my lips. I want to be back to the basics with Him and to be free to follow after Him with all my heart soul mind and strength without all the negativity, lies, anger and bitterness from those who are not on the same path. This has been so difficult for me because I am really an open and social person, but I do feel it is what He wants for me to really draw in to Him... Hopefully this will in turn leave me more filled with peace and His strength and truth, able to pour HIM out onto others when He brings me opportunities.
Back to the basics,
God keep showing me what this looks like to journey with YOU back to the basics. To spend more time with YOU and in Your Word of Truth than with any device or app or link. Lead me! I am longing for more and more and more of YOU! Nothing else satisfies me the way you and your Word do! I long for more depth in you! I long to find YOU in Your Word! I long to know you more! I long to be your mouthpiece and know you so well that I can be a truth bringer in a world so lost and hopeless and hurting. I want to spur my children on to deeper knowledge of you. I want them to crave Your Word! I want my husband to be blessed by the wife I am. I want to honor him as I honor you. I want my friends to see the Light in my life and know it comes from YOU! I want to walk like Jesus did, not sacrificing truth for grace or grace for truth either but living in the uncomfortable place of walking in both equally--fully surrendered and humbly serving YOU alone God! In Jesus Mighty Name, amen!
John 1:14
The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.
Life can become so clouded and crowded. God wants my heart back to the basics.
HIS WORD! His purpose and pull in my life.
As the world seems to spin more and more out of control, I find myself pulled in many directions particularly on social media. So many people, even ones I love and respected, now posting things I can hardly believe-leaving me so disheartened. Others, whom I love and respected also not posting anything in response to troubling times, leaving me also disheartened for their lack of involvement in a time when voices of love and wise truth are so desperately necessary. I find my heart aching in the absence of truth bringers, as well as in the absence of truth supporters. I find myself concerned by muddied messages littered with half truths or watered down convictions and guidance.
God, bring us into Your arms and REVIVE us! Let me, let us LIVE again! Take me back to the basics and keep my eyes upon You and keep my lips willing to speak your truth even when I am betrayed because I do/did so. Keep my wandering heart upon Your path and keep my head bowed low in humble service of my King-my Savior-my Everything! Let me long for You, as the deer for the water. Let me be strong enough to lead and humble enough to follow Your lead!
I don't want to be so distracted and side tracked anymore. So as I hear Him calling me back to the basics I want to listen. It may take me some time to figure out exactly what this looks like for me, but one thing I know it surely means is limiting social media and going back to just Facebook. Facebook is enough. And even on Facebook there are so many people, even people who claim to follow Christ, who then oppose His Word and Truth and demean and petition against their supposedly fellow Christ-followers. Calling them "evangels" or "evangelicals" all the while touting their own new gospel of self.
I have done a lot of soul searching recently. We took time as a church to study Proverbs and through April our family had gone through the Proverbs Ditties again too. I was reminded of the importance of sifting out those in my life who are bad influences, who seek to serve the god of "self" and who are filled with anger, who remain in bitterness despite time and love and prayer. These influences do impact us. Not just in person, but on social media as well. And over time, I find my heart hurting more than helping these ones. God is reminding me it is His job to do the saving and my job to do the praying and using His wisdom in the times and ways I allow them into my life. When I do things His way I can do it to His glory and their good without having to sacrifice my own mental, emotional and spiritual well-being because of it. God wants us to be good stewards of the Love and Light He has given us! He wants us to be able to be free to live in the Light of eternity and to bring forth difficult truths to a dying world. We are called to be SALT! Salt is not just willing, but ready and able and wanting to be difference makers, to bring about CHANGE, to speak to a world that needs to hear the "offensive and intolerant" truths of our day. Truth like, without Christ we are dead in our sins and we face an eternity in hell. Truths like, killing an unborn child in the name of self is truly selfish and sinful, not loving to the mother who then faces emotional angst nor the child facing death. Truths like, without accepting Jesus as our Lord and Savior we are lost. And the truth, that it is sinful and selfish to live for ourselves in sexual immorality, homosexuality, pornography, etc. rather than humbly work to God's glory to live holy and acceptable lives according to His law. This world needs to hear the truth that there is a better way! It is Gods way! It is not easy. We need each other! We need His laws, the easy ones and the hard ones to help guide our paths. We need those willing to surrender being "unliked" and unpopular in order to bring these difficult truths to a lost, hurting and dying world! People need to hear that they are missing out on something better when they give themselves over to their desires rather than giving themselves over to God and obeying His word! Jesus paid such a high price! He paid in His own BLOOD! A life fully surrendered and committed to honoring the call of God no matter the cost. This is our greatest example of LOVE! How can we allow our "Christian" brothers and sisters to go amiss and preach a gospel of self gratification and self indulgence and self love and self fulfillment and pride rather than the true gospel of an emptying of self and a self-refilled and refueled by the grace and truth of Jesus our good good Teacher! Jesus, Himself, knew it would require a cross. We are living amiss of the true gospel if we feel no weight of the gospel we bear... If we feel no pain from the truth that leads us to wear the scars of those who may mock, spit, abuse, and oppose us because of our service and speaking forth the good Laws of the God who gave it all for us to live! And if we bear no cross of our own, the laying down of our passions and desires that wage war against God's ways; as a Christ follower, there WILL be a weight to bear. So, I ask myself often and I wonder if you would ask yourself along with me, God, what cross am I bearing to follow YOU? Have I truly laid it all down to follow YOU? Or am I holding something back in my lips, in my hands, in my time, with my eyes, with my feet etc...
So, anyway, I find myself looking back to my original intent in entering social media. Originally I entered social media to actually keep up with my family when I moved away. When I began using social media I enjoyed using it to be open and share my life with others as well as to be supportive and lovingly walk alongside my family and friends in theirs. Social media became a very difficult place for me when I had difficult times. In so many ways I wanted to share more and speak freely exactly who I am and the triumphs and trials alike that I faced because I am a very open person...
But deep inside I still find myself longing for real face to face friendships and family relationships that truly breathe life into my spirit, accept me for who I am but spur me on toward love and good deeds and obedience to Christ no matter the cost! I don't find that on social media any longer.
In times of weakness, social media can be more than a distraction, it can easily become a temptation as well as lead me into sadness in various ways and I want to honor God with what I put into my mind and who I choose to spend my time interacting with. If nothing else, it is a place for boundaries to be put in place if honoring God is on our hearts! Honoring Him with our time, with our eyes, with our hands (which become our lips so to speak when it is online "typing") and our heart--what we set our affections and devotion upon.
This back to the basics call is not going to be easy. But I do think it is what He is calling me to.
When I cleaned out our garage the other day I found all kinds of old pictures. I wondered if God had anything to speak to my heart in that find. At the time, He did not. But as I sat with Him on it, I felt Him whispering that this was a prompting and He was calling me to "go back" not to that time or to re do or undo anything... But rather, to simplify. To walk humbly with my God. To be the real me, honest and filled with His Word and Light!
This led me to delete my YouVersion Bible APP too. In so many areas I feel Him calling me BACK to the BASICS. I am devoting myself to reading the physical Bible again. Highlighting, marking, paging through and paging through, making notes, seeing the story come together again as a WHOLE picture!
To go back, also, to leading my kids in love toward Jesus and His Word (the physical Bible) before and above anything else. It is so easy to feel like a failure with raising the kids and teaching them too. But, God is reminding me that He is in the simple things... Like a silly song, a happy hug, a walk across the way, and time to stop and really SEE His creation! He reminded me of this especially last week when the kids and I spent some time in the PA Grand Canyon. I did not even purpose to not take a single photograph while we were away... But it happened that way anyway. I did not take my phone with me most places because we barely have any reception up there. So, it was amazing to me how I feel like I can really remember details more because I did not make the time to photograph every image that blessed my heart or spoke to my heart. I simply let it speak to me in that moment and I cherished my times more. I listened to the sound of the birds instead of trying to meticulously capture them on camera and then creatively post about what I experienced. And I spied the most unbelievably unique assortment of mushrooms during our long lovely hikes and I can vividly picture in my mind the details of each kind. But I have not a single picture to show for it! That actually feels so immensely good! In so many ways!
I long for God to take me back to the basics! In my ways of being a wife. In the way I mother. In the way I live as a daughter and sister and friend. And in the way I choose to serve Him and His body.
Whatever this may lead to, and however it may look over the long haul, I'm not exactly sure. But what I do know is that He has been leading me in this way for quite sometime now and I have just been unsure of exactly what He was trying to say until now.
So, with that in mind, I am deleting many off of my social media accounts who have been a negative influence, who I don't know well, and who speak against the Church and God's Word. I am also getting rid of my Instagram followers and who I follow so that I will not be on Instagram any longer. I love love love pictures so I don't want to delete my account and lose those, but I will no longer be using my account. I have already deleted my Twitter account as that was just a distraction and often brought disgusting follower requests which were just a source of frustration and added sadness to my heart. I wanted to let anyone interested in knowing my reasoning behind me ending many accounts and lessening my "friends" list, this is why. I want to honor God with my heart, with my mind, with my eyes, with my hands and my lips. I want to be back to the basics with Him and to be free to follow after Him with all my heart soul mind and strength without all the negativity, lies, anger and bitterness from those who are not on the same path. This has been so difficult for me because I am really an open and social person, but I do feel it is what He wants for me to really draw in to Him... Hopefully this will in turn leave me more filled with peace and His strength and truth, able to pour HIM out onto others when He brings me opportunities.
Back to the basics,
God keep showing me what this looks like to journey with YOU back to the basics. To spend more time with YOU and in Your Word of Truth than with any device or app or link. Lead me! I am longing for more and more and more of YOU! Nothing else satisfies me the way you and your Word do! I long for more depth in you! I long to find YOU in Your Word! I long to know you more! I long to be your mouthpiece and know you so well that I can be a truth bringer in a world so lost and hopeless and hurting. I want to spur my children on to deeper knowledge of you. I want them to crave Your Word! I want my husband to be blessed by the wife I am. I want to honor him as I honor you. I want my friends to see the Light in my life and know it comes from YOU! I want to walk like Jesus did, not sacrificing truth for grace or grace for truth either but living in the uncomfortable place of walking in both equally--fully surrendered and humbly serving YOU alone God! In Jesus Mighty Name, amen!
John 1:14
The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.
Sunday, April 2, 2017
My Media-Fast Month and Some Random Heart Lessons
Over the past month I had taken time away from social media for a season of surrender and quiet through Lent. It was, to be honest, super difficult and strange for the first few days. I had these urges to go check my social media sites "just to check in". It was a habit, and it felt strange not following through on those compulsions. But, after the first several days it truly became refreshing. Refreshing because I wasn't allowing those feelings to cause guilt, if I hadn't checked in that day. Refreshing because I had no feeling of "missing out" anymore. I felt like my time was more wisely spent during this past month. I even spent less time responding to emails, texts, messages and Voxers. Because of this, I was able to focus more on my children, my hubby, and the things that they needed from me in the quiet moments, because I wasn't filling the quiet moments with scrolling through a news feed or our pictures or making sure I had replied to the various emails, texts, Voxes and messages I'd gotten.
Ironically, the following couple weeks of my social media fast were spent transcribing a Doctoral thesis for someone who interviewed students from the OneLife program at LBC. OneLife is a program that enforces a media-less policy at LBC. Students give up cell phones, computers, they give up social media during the 9 month program and they give up Internet occasionally, as well. As I transcribed these interviews, I was struck by the common thread that I too was finding, that God, my relationship with Him and my ability to hear Him and see the beauty of His creation were being put secondary. I was too distracted by social media and the time and energy it consumes to just be present and find joy and life in the moment. I was struck also by the realization these students had come to, that their identity was being shaped and formed by the false realities these interfaces set up, rather than by simply living life.
I found myself again. I found myself in God's view again. And I found who I believe He has created and called me to be once again. Not that I had lost those altogether, but it had definitely become increasingly difficult to function from that place confidently and without apology. In part too because of the conflict social media often brought into my life. I had a lot of time for God to remind my heart of, not just the things I believe and the values and truths He has graciously poured into my heart, but the strength to unashamedly and unapologetically share them with humble strength and grace trusting Him who calls me to speak truth.
Sometimes it is hard to believe I will soon be entrusted with another child to raise. God has seen fit to bless me with children despite the various struggles along the way between endometriosis, cysts, a tumor, pain, and loss. There are so many times, as a social person, that I feel lonely for more and deeper connection. But, God showed me through this past month that these children are who He has given me so much time with day to day and they need me desperately to be present with them. I need His help so desperately to be a patient, loving and wise mom. I feel like so often I am short and overwhelmed and uncertain I have all it takes to homeschool-well, housekeep-well, wife-well, and be a good sister, daughter and friend too, and to find ways to serve God and the church well too. Sometimes I forget the value of investing my time and energy into building and shaping my children. But, the reality is that in the end, they become an extension of my love and efforts and shaping. It will be as if my hands can extend 5-fold out into this world, if I can just keep that viewpoint and remember that my time is well spent to pour all of the best of myself into their little hearts and lives.
Throughout this past month there was a real struggle physically for me. My health has been a battle since January I have had chronic sinus infections. First, a 5 week long one, which I avoided meds for; hence the 5 weeks of chronic coughing due to nasal drip, which then caused constant laryngitis. I had one glorious week of health and healing when I was able to do something so fulfilling for me in recording two new songs, which I can't wait to share with you all soon hopefully! But, after that, I came down with a fever and another kind of sinus infection that brought along with it THE WORST head/face-ache and ear aches of my life, with such horrendous pressure in my face and head. I've had this one now for several weeks and I finally relented and went on medication to try to help me find healing. Even with the meds though I was so sick and congested last week. My sweet hubby had made me a hot mug of water to sit over and let the steam try to loosen up my congestion. But, the kids started fighting over time on the iPad, so I said go set the timer for 10 minutes for each of you to have a turn. They didn't know how, so I said okay I'll just set the one on my phone and as I went to reach for it, the mug slipped from my other hand and spilled all down my chest. It gave me the worst burns I've ever had in my life. 2nd degree burns. It hurt SO BAD! The irony was, I was finally able to breath through my nostrils. For about 10-15 minutes my sinuses cleared and I felt like the little girl who fell down headfirst into the tree and found her miraculous healing. Sadly, the cleared sinuses clogged right back up just after that, and I had 2nd degree burns to show for it. *insert sad crying face* There were many times during this past month that I felt like I was under attack physically. And yet, in it all, God was still doing some major things in my heart and spirit. Now that I look at it from the spiritual perspective I can see the battle was raging over my heart and mind and spirit. I shed many, many, many, tears this past month. Some for real reasons, but many just out of emotionally and physically just feeling so out of it. I felt like anything could make me cry. (And just honestly, I cry easily so that probably hasn't and won't change too much) But, finding some relief physically, has given me the ability to find some strength and feel a little more leveled out again.
Ironically, the following couple weeks of my social media fast were spent transcribing a Doctoral thesis for someone who interviewed students from the OneLife program at LBC. OneLife is a program that enforces a media-less policy at LBC. Students give up cell phones, computers, they give up social media during the 9 month program and they give up Internet occasionally, as well. As I transcribed these interviews, I was struck by the common thread that I too was finding, that God, my relationship with Him and my ability to hear Him and see the beauty of His creation were being put secondary. I was too distracted by social media and the time and energy it consumes to just be present and find joy and life in the moment. I was struck also by the realization these students had come to, that their identity was being shaped and formed by the false realities these interfaces set up, rather than by simply living life.
I found myself again. I found myself in God's view again. And I found who I believe He has created and called me to be once again. Not that I had lost those altogether, but it had definitely become increasingly difficult to function from that place confidently and without apology. In part too because of the conflict social media often brought into my life. I had a lot of time for God to remind my heart of, not just the things I believe and the values and truths He has graciously poured into my heart, but the strength to unashamedly and unapologetically share them with humble strength and grace trusting Him who calls me to speak truth.
Sometimes it is hard to believe I will soon be entrusted with another child to raise. God has seen fit to bless me with children despite the various struggles along the way between endometriosis, cysts, a tumor, pain, and loss. There are so many times, as a social person, that I feel lonely for more and deeper connection. But, God showed me through this past month that these children are who He has given me so much time with day to day and they need me desperately to be present with them. I need His help so desperately to be a patient, loving and wise mom. I feel like so often I am short and overwhelmed and uncertain I have all it takes to homeschool-well, housekeep-well, wife-well, and be a good sister, daughter and friend too, and to find ways to serve God and the church well too. Sometimes I forget the value of investing my time and energy into building and shaping my children. But, the reality is that in the end, they become an extension of my love and efforts and shaping. It will be as if my hands can extend 5-fold out into this world, if I can just keep that viewpoint and remember that my time is well spent to pour all of the best of myself into their little hearts and lives.
Throughout this past month there was a real struggle physically for me. My health has been a battle since January I have had chronic sinus infections. First, a 5 week long one, which I avoided meds for; hence the 5 weeks of chronic coughing due to nasal drip, which then caused constant laryngitis. I had one glorious week of health and healing when I was able to do something so fulfilling for me in recording two new songs, which I can't wait to share with you all soon hopefully! But, after that, I came down with a fever and another kind of sinus infection that brought along with it THE WORST head/face-ache and ear aches of my life, with such horrendous pressure in my face and head. I've had this one now for several weeks and I finally relented and went on medication to try to help me find healing. Even with the meds though I was so sick and congested last week. My sweet hubby had made me a hot mug of water to sit over and let the steam try to loosen up my congestion. But, the kids started fighting over time on the iPad, so I said go set the timer for 10 minutes for each of you to have a turn. They didn't know how, so I said okay I'll just set the one on my phone and as I went to reach for it, the mug slipped from my other hand and spilled all down my chest. It gave me the worst burns I've ever had in my life. 2nd degree burns. It hurt SO BAD! The irony was, I was finally able to breath through my nostrils. For about 10-15 minutes my sinuses cleared and I felt like the little girl who fell down headfirst into the tree and found her miraculous healing. Sadly, the cleared sinuses clogged right back up just after that, and I had 2nd degree burns to show for it. *insert sad crying face* There were many times during this past month that I felt like I was under attack physically. And yet, in it all, God was still doing some major things in my heart and spirit. Now that I look at it from the spiritual perspective I can see the battle was raging over my heart and mind and spirit. I shed many, many, many, tears this past month. Some for real reasons, but many just out of emotionally and physically just feeling so out of it. I felt like anything could make me cry. (And just honestly, I cry easily so that probably hasn't and won't change too much) But, finding some relief physically, has given me the ability to find some strength and feel a little more leveled out again.
Thursday, March 9, 2017
The Whole Truth and Nothing But The Truth
The whole truth and nothing but the truth
It was a Monday. Library day. I usually give the kids a book limit when we go, to avoid coming home with one hundred books. Okay, let me be honest (since this blog is supposed to be about honesty in the first place😜), it's actually to avoid the twenty dollar fine when I forget to return their books on time. Ha! Anyway, that day I gave them a 4 book limit. The kids did their usual search and eventually one of them came asking for a one book increase. When you have multiple children you have to be "fair". Equality takes on a whole new meaning in a large family. When I meal prep, all plates are created equal. When I get juice cups ready in the morning, all juice cups are filled to the exact mark on the exact same cups with the exact same precision. When I buy one a candy they happen to eye at the grocery check out, the other is given a chance to buy their favorite candy too. Just to keep things equal.
All that being said, the library book limit was readily increased to five books for all. You know, just to keep things "equal".
Somehow, when I checked out the amount the librarian quoted seemed to be quite larger than I'd anticipated. I knew we had some books at home missing from the count yet that had to be renewed again. That threw the count off. But, I was still left wondering how our count was so high.
When we got home I tried to, yet again, equally divvy out the books so that each child had to keep track of exact amounts. When I asked the kids to count their books so that I could hand out a few extra to each child to keep track of, one child in particular was looking at me strangely when I asked how many books they had.
At first I did not think much of it. But as I continued to question my little one about how many books they had, the evasiveness and questions I got in return caused me to begin wondering what was going on. Eventually I realized there was deception going on. Initially, my heart sank. I thought to myself, why... Why even after I increased the amount did they feel they had to hide more from me? Why did they not just ask me for another extra? Why hide it?
I thought about the small-ness of this infraction. The fact that I could have just brushed it off completely. (Thus giving my mommy hat a toss to the shelf for one of the day's teachable moments and therefore giving me five extra minutes to simply sit and "just be" after the library excursion). The fact that I could have scolded this child but then left things as they were.
But, I realized in that moment it was a teachable moment. They chose to lie. They chose to deceive and be sneaky. This was a small and seemingly insignificant blip... But it is in those moments that we can make a big impact on our children's future choices if we choose to spend the time and invest in teaching and instilling wisdom into their hearts.
So, I sent them on to a quiet time of reflection on their choice, while I prayed.
I asked for God to help me know how to best handle the situation. I asked for His wisdom to help them learn a valuable life lesson from this decision. And I asked for Him to speak into this young heart.
Then I called my little one back out to the living room. We discussed the decision they'd made, how it made me feel having been deceived and disobeyed. We discussed how it made them feel. We discussed how the situation could have been handled differently. And ultimately, we discussed how these small choices to lie, to hide things and to deceive can play into bigger decision making in the future. We talked about how library books are small things, but big decisions we have to make as adults can have much bigger ramifications and we discussed how a lie, deception or a hidden truth can often grow that difficulty and pain NOT lessen it. It's always best to go about things in an honest and forthright way. Teaching this valuable life lesson now is going to be so much better now than when it involves boyfriends or girlfriends or spouses or jobs or money or financial issues later on in life.
Satan is called many times throughout scripture as the father of lies. I want my children to know that a lie is never what God wants and what pleases Him. It is always something the enemy is behind and trying to pull us into the tangled webs it can create. Truth is always Gods way, even when the truth is so difficult to speak or to live out, it is always the right thing. I want my kids to have the strength and wisdom to know that being honest will always be worth the surrender and humility it may take. Being honest can lead to restoration, healing and hope. Dishonesty and lies only lead to destruction, pain, mistrust and broadening difficulty. I want our children to know we will be parents who will always forgive and accept them in their honesty... That their lies or deception or sin may bring with it natural and sometimes given consequences for their actions or words, but that the payoff is the guilt-free conscience and knowing they are walking in truth. Truth brings freedom.
My prayer for my friends and family is that we walk in this knowledge and make the difficult decisions we need to make to walk in the freedom of truth no matter how difficult the path to that may be.
❤️🙏🏼
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