Reaching Isreal-her Calcutta

My lovely little sis has felt a call to Isreal! She's been a world traveling missionary off and on now since her early teen years. Most recently her heart has been in the Homeland, where many of Jesus' first footprints lay beneath the dust and time. So many of His people are blinded to truth and her heart is to minister His love, hope and truth to His Homeland! She will be working closely with women and girls who are willingly (and lawfully since it is not against the law in Isreal)  prostituting themselves and/or are being trafficked. 
I don't share a lot about her personal story because I know it's hers and not mine. However, as her older sister there are many memories I have of a time in her own life when her pain was deep and her wounds could not be reasoned--see her husband chose to verbally abuse and treat her so harshly she literally collapsed on my living room floor in sobs. She fought for her marriage until he made it clear he would not. She knows the bitterness of betrayal and she knows the heartache of verbal abuse and neglect. Her arms are such a strong place for the women of Isreal to find strength, comfort and hope! And THIS is what she longs to be, what she longs to do! 

So, would you be so amazing as to consider donating to support the Homeland of Christ Jesus ministry she longs to do! Would you consider partnering in changing lives for Christ in Isreal alongside my sister Rebekah?! Even a small partnership financially will be another step closer to her reaching her goal to be able to serve God and others in this capacity! She has said of Isreal and this ministry that it is HER Calcutta.

I want to thank you all so SO much for considering helping financially and I would like to URGE you to consider PRAYERFULLY partnering with her, as she commits herself to serving! 

Friends, family, thank you SO MUCH! If you'd like more information please feel free to contact myself or my sister, Rebekah!  

With the hope of reaching Isreal for Christ Jesus, 
Abi

A Little Old... 11/09/2012

Testament;)

Lately as I read through the Old Testament God has been revealing to me His great power, His faithfulness in fulfulling His covenants, and His plan.

Did you ever wonder why God does certain things the way He does?

I do.

I wonder particularly when He does things, or allows things that hurt, things that take time, things that are confusing...

Like why would God harden pharaoh's heart? It would seem it was hard enough as it was.

As I spend time studying God's Word, though, I find that His Spirit speaks to my heart individually and personally on questions I have. I also find that many of the answers I am seeking are right there in front of me if i will simply take the time to immerse myself, to dive in, to develop positive habits, to press in to His truths, and into Him.

Do you think you've been waiting a long time to see God answer your prayers? They are NOT prayed in vain! Did you know that the Isrealites were in bondage, chains, slavery for 430 YEARS, FOUR HUNDRED AND THIRTY YEARS? Wow, and I felt likeMY prayers take a long time to answer...

Prayer has got to be done with the heart and attitude of Christ Jesus. This is a daily, sometimes moment to moment, surrender for me, and probably for most of us. I ask God for big BIG things. And I believe He can do them! Yet, I surrender MY time-frame, MY hopes, MY desires, MY will, MY very life if He ask it of me, to take up and walk out HIS PLAN and HIS PURPOSE.

When have I seen this most in my own life? When I was faced with the uncertainty of what was happening in our second pregnancy. As the Doctors told us they could not find a heartbeat at five months pregnant, neither my husband nor I wanted to believe this could be true. I sat in that cold dark delivery room, even after they confirmed to us the reality that our baby had died and I cried out in loud prayer and I begged God for a miracle. I told Him I KNEW His hand could resurrect her if He so chose. I told Him I knew she would be raised to love and serve Him. I told Him I would praise His name and tell others of His resurrection power. But God had different plans.

God had different plans!

His plan was not that.

I also finished my prayer by submitting myself to His plan, and I tried my best, through my humanity and mothers heart, to trust that He had a plan and would indeed bless us and give us a hope for our future still. And I trusted in HIS resurrection of Christ and His power over life and death and ULTIMATELY, I trusted His plan and purpose for the life, no matter how short, of our daughter.

He has not shown me His exact plans, yet He has revealed to me in glimpses His great purpose for our beautiful little Joeli Grace's life. He continues to bless my heart through opportunities to minister, to encourage and to walk alongside other families suffering this great tragic loss. And He continues to use the testimony of His great love and resurrection power through the life and what I truly believe was part of Joeli's purpose to embolden me to have grace and strength to share about the great love of Christ. I know I am by far not a worthy "example" of His gospel of love and faithfulness because i am utterly failed and flawed as an individual and still make mistakes I wish I did not to this day in my thought-life in my daily life and in my heart...but may I be an example of His deep and abiding grace, I pray so!

God, give us each a boldness, a faith and a hope that is unwavering as we learn to pray in faith and believe in faith and walk in faith! 

Give us an insatiable desire for more of your Words! Help our hearts to long for spending individual and personal time hearing Your voice!

In JESUS Name,

Amen

Get in that little Old Testament today :)

Imagine And Speak Words That Bring Life, Beginning and Hope To Your Challenges 11/23/1012

Imagine everything you feel is impossible suddenly being possible... Imagine that instead of speaking words that bring death, end, or hopelessness like these, "that will never change", "that's impossible", "it's hopeless", "I can't", "that's just too difficult" INSTEAD you began speaking words that bring LIFE, BEGINNING and HOPE like, "With the help of God ALL things are possible in Jesus' Name", "There is HOPE in the Name of Christ", "I can do ALL things through CHRIST who gives me strength", "Nothing is impossible with God". Imagine that you continued trying even after each "failure". Imagine that you exhausted all the options before "giving up and giving in". Imagine that for every "lost cause" you gave them another chance and another chance and yet another. Imagine that for every circumstance that feels like an insurmountable cliff to overcome that you kept walking in the direction that FACES the challenge rather than RETREATS from it. Imagine.

Now, imagine you also asked even just two or three of your closest friends to uplift you during the climb...to walk alongside you, or to help carry you through, or to pray you to the summit. Imagine and begin speaking words in your heart and mind that powerfully bring hope, beginning and life! YOU can overcome that obstacle that feels too heavy to bear with the help, support, prayer and love of others. YOU CAN walk this good path that seems lonely and difficult, especially with the love, encouragement and truth others can bring to you through it.

Speak LIFE words to yourself and SEEK others who will do likewise as they walk alongside you through this challenge!

Friend, YOU can! Friend, God can, when you feel you can't. Friend, together, WE can! :)

Matthew 17:20He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will beimpossible for you.”

A Mothers Dream Morning 3/10/2010

So I woke up this morning to Seana coming in the room around 7 (nice little break from 6:30) with smiles and giggles. She had, in hand, her little magna doodle with voice recorder. And she said, "I have something to tell you"! And she proceeded to press the button and in the sweetest little voice (on the recorder) I hear, "Mommy, I love you"! I will tell you, my heart melted in such an unbelievable way. She then told me that she was too "em borr essed" lol, not embarresed, but emborressed, to tell me that without the recorder. She also told us that she had said the same thing about Daddy too but it didnt work with both:) LOL again. So she said hold on, and she re-recorded it saying, "I love you Mommy, I love you Daddy" and then she pressed the button and played it and said, "there now it works" :) WOW...what a sweet way to wake up:) Thank God for mornings like that b/c they don't happen everyday that's for sure:) 

I am unbelievably blessed:)she goes, "Look mommy we look SOOO cute in our hats" hahaha...

Analogies To Life In A Jog 11/30/2009

1. When we focus too much on the large goal or the whole task at hand or the big picture of our situation rather than just focusing on reaching a small attainable goal we can easily get overwhelmed, frustrated, downhearted, fearful, and feel like a failure or like giving up which then makes us a failure. For example, I hadn't jogged in over a month and my legs were tired, my lungs were burning, and my body was fatigued within the first half mile. I felt like giving up, or at the least just taking a "rest". I thought to myself, "I'll never make it three laps around and get home and be able to jog the whole time". But, as these thoughts came to mind I quickly changed my PERSPECTIVE and began focusing on small attainable goals, like simply making it to the next road sign. AMAZINGLY, before you knew it I had reached it and was able to then set my sights on the next sign, and the next, until I was making my last lap and home! unbelievable:) 

2. When I was jogging I was getting easily distracted from the "path". Whenever I took my eyes off the path for even just a moment to glance to the left or right I found myself swirving and hitting potholes. As Christians we need to make it our goal to please Him whether His eyes are on us or not! We need to keep our eyes straight ahead, not getting distracted. The only way to keep from hitting potholes is to keep looking ahead and be consistently in HIS Word! 

3. Sometimes we get overwhelmed, frustrated or this life gets tough if we let the trials of llife become too much and we believe the lies that if we just "take a break" or that its ok to just slip up on little issues and in that sense "take a break from following His path" for even just a moment...but just like in jogging, once you "slow down" or "take a break" its all the harder to get back up to speed and or "catch up" with those on the path or also to make it to the finish on a good time. So-don't let up in your Walk with God...keep going-even when it hurts! 

4. You're not always perfect, but you should get better as you keep on practicing and don't give up when the going gets tough:)

5. Sometimes you get blisters when you wear new shoes, but eventually you build calluses. Just like when you begin peeling back the layers of sin in your life sometimes it hurts at first and it's difficult, but as you keep going through the pain, eventually you are stronger and you are better for it! 

Things I Love About Fall 10/04/2009

Things I Love About Fall

drinking thick spicy apple cider
cozying up in an oversized warm wooly sweatshirt
snuggling under the blankets with my hubby and girls
fall fun fests, face painting, wicked hay rides
watching Seana play in the leaves and playing in them too
hugging to stay warm
pumpkin pie with whipped cream on top
baked sweet potatoes with cinnamon and sugar and lots of butter
turkey hold the sauce
freshly baked apple pie
apples of all colors, radical red, jolly green, and soft mellow yellow
sneaking in some early Christmas jingles
wearing jeans all day, every day
watching the leaves change colors and fall
listening to them crunch, snap and scratch under my slowly walking feet

As each season turns it brings with it new joys, new lessons learned and new appreciation! Praise God for this season, for this day, for this life, for His love! 

I'm Begging For Abundant Life 8/28/09

August 28, 2009 ~I'm Begging for Abundant Life~ 

Life is dull, life's a mess
Life is hectic, full of stress

I am sad, I'm depressed
I am worried, I'm perplexed

You look lovely, you look nice
You look crazy, you're not alright 

He is mean, She's so rude
They have such bad attitudes

This one, that one?
can I just have a little fun

Give me this, give me that
all I want is one new hat
You are ugly, you are fat
you are sweet, you're such a brat 

You're a mom, you're a dad
Its all good, its just a fad

Death, destruction, loss and pain
wealth, confusion, hurt, disdain 

if Seeking Him, is losing life
I think that may just be alright
With all the darkness, only He is the Light

So, Father teach me to obey
give me strength to stay
close by your side and in you hide
to run from evil cling to good
to do the things I know I should
to have the heart that seeks Your Name
heal me because I'm blind and lame
to always be above reproach
to live a life that most just won't 

clothe me, cleanse me, train me, teach me
heal me, love me, forgive me, feed me

I don't want half, I don't want part
I want it all so pour into my heart 
I'm simply tired of all the strife
I'm begging for abundant life

~Abigail Dougherty 8/28/09 

Matthew 16:25
For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.
John 10:10
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. 

Remember what matters

Wise words from the hubby once again...

"Look out for your brother and for your love. Five years from now this game won't matter, but your relationship with your brother will."-Sean

Seana and Joeby were outside playing with a neighbor. Joeby came inside very angry and hurt. (cue slight sarcastic tone) Since this is such a rare occurrence (end overtones), it is truly a wonder Sean had anything in mind to say in leading their hearts.

Side rant about LEADing: It really takes serious effort and desire to LEAD hearts and not just boss or force or dictate. To truly LEAD is to recognize in our own hearts where we  may be a culprit in behaviour or speech or attitude. Where we ourselves have left the path to wander the highways. If we want to be able to LEAD them, then our own hearts, by way of introspective and self analyzing humility, grace and acceptance of truth must first be willing to go back to the narrow path toward love and life! It's funny to me sometimes people say following Jesus, my Lord and God or Biblical morality is so restrictive and imprisonating, yet to me, I find it liberating! The Bible says the truth will set us free and it is for freedom Christ set us free! He came that we might have life and life abundant! He did not come to abolish the law but to fulfil it! His law gives liberty because it teaches us a way of righteousness which brings deep and abiding peace and joy. He knows we are not perfect/faultless and that we would struggle to consistently walk in it--so Jesus covers my sins and leads me in grace back up when I fall down. So how can we expect our children to want to follow what we say if we aren't also living out our convictions too? So parents, we must press in and we must lead our hearts toward Him and toward accepting His truths! Whatever we have to do to get our hearts at a place of inviting truth in, we must keep doing so. MANY wise counselors, not only one.

Back to my point: "Look out for your brother and for your love. Five years from now this game won't matter, but your relationship with your brother will."-Sean

So I ask you, who is the "brother" in your life--friend, sister, uncle, grandparent, husband, wife, co worker, boss?? And what is the "game" you've let come between that relationship? Is it jealousy? Anger? Lies? Lust? Greed? Hatred? Bitterness? Strife? Or maybe more simply, an argument, a disagreement, a hurt left unattended, miscommunication, unforgiveness??

This season especially, may I admonish us, myself included, to remember what matters!

John 8:31 Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. 32 And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

33 “But we are descendants of Abraham,” they said. “We have never been slaves to anyone. What do you mean, ‘You will be set free’?” 34 Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave of sin.35 A slave is not a permanent member of the family, but a son is part of the family forever. 36 So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free.

Muscle Relaxers (Holiday Recipe)

Butter Pecan Peppermint Schnapps delights
1 C butter (softened)
1 C very finely chopped pecan bits
2 C white whole wheat flour
1/2 C white sugar
1-2 Tbsp Peppermint Schnapps
Mix together thoroughly and roll into tablespoon size balls and refrigerate.

Pumpkin Liqueur Cream Cheese dipping sauce
2 heaping Tbsps Fultons Harvest  Pumpkin Pie Liqueur
1/2 stick (1/4 lb) of butter (softened)
1 C of powdered sugar or to taste/desired consistency
4 oz cream cheese package (softened)
Add sweetened condensed milk as desired/to taste
Cream together

Simple Prayers to Significant Purpose (6)

God, please infuse my heart with your wisdom and strength to speak the truth even when it is difficult. And beyond that, I ask for the wisdom, strength and humility to accept and acknowledge when truth is spoken to me--even when it may be difficult to recieve. Keep me from being tossed by beliefs that aren't of You.

Ephesians 4:14 Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth. 15 Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. 16 He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.

Simple Prayers to Significant Purpose (5)

God, I want to be a light that shines in the darkness. Sometimes that darkness is overwhelming. Sometimes life itself is overwhelming. Lord work in me, let nothing overwhelm me but you!
"15 When the crowd saw Jesus, they were overwhelmed with awe, and they ran to greet him."
Mark 9:15

Simple Prayers to Significant Purpose (4)

God, reveal to my heart the narrow road and help me have the strength and faith to walk on it despite my own inclinations or the allure of other ways. Create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me!
Psalm 51
"12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation and make me willing to obey you.

16 You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one.
    You do not want a burnt offering.
17 The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit.
    You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God."

Simple Prayers to Significant Purpose (3)

God, people are angry and disheartened by hypocrisy and lies among your children. I know within my heart are many struggles. Open my eyes to see my own hidden hypocrisy and keep me from being a liar.
22 "The Lord detests lying lips,
    but he delights in people who are trustworthy." Proverbs 12:22

Simple Prayers to Significant Purpose (2)

Today, instead of my needs, I will look upon the richness of Your glory. For when I do, the greatness of your majesty overflows my heart. All the needs I had, replaced by the precious joy of your beauty. So teach my heart to sing in the shelter of your wings!

7 "Because you are my help,
    I sing in the shadow of your wings." Psalm 63:7

"Splendor and majesty are before him;

    strength and joy are in his dwelling place.

28 Ascribe to the Lord, all you families of nations,
    ascribe to the Lord glory and strength." 1st Chronicles 16:27-28

Simple Prayers to Significant Purpose (1)

What am I doing awake after midnight, one may ask...  I am doing all the things I cannot do while I am teaching and cleaning and cooking and refereeing and nursing and nursing (get it with the two nursings haha joke of a mom). Anyway, I am blogging:)

So, enjoy it while I have a few moments. Here is my latest thought for you...

Simple prayers to Significant purpose
Post 1 of  ?

Lord, I surrender my agenda to You.
Have Your way in my day.
Use ME to accomplish YOUR will!
"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty!" Psalm 91:1-2

Redeeming and Blessing

This time five years ago I was almost at the end of one of the most arduous journeys of my life. Emotionally, that is.

It was just the previous year I had gone through losing Joeli at five months pregnant. In fact, something I rarely speak about is how eerily similar everything with Joeli and Sadie was regarding their dates. Joeli was due three days after Sadie, on June 18th. Sadie was due the 15th. I will never forget the feeling of knowing the nurse was going to give me my due date with Sadie and I quickly said out loud, just whatever you do, don't say the 18th, lie to me and give me another date if that's where it lands. And she said, I don't even have to lie, it's the 15th. I think I breathed this disgusting guttural sigh of relief. I was terrified that in some weird way everything was going to line up exactly, and I don't even believe in luck or karma or bad omens or whatever else...it just freaked me out and made me want to cry.

So, there I was, celebrating every "milestone" almost exactly the same day as I had the previous year with our precious Joeli Grace. Month one, month two, month three, month four, and then the dreaded month...five. But this was different because I felt God so near to me during this time. I felt Him through many prayers and encouraging words from friends who knew the grief I was still deeply embedded in and also the fear of losing another child while carrying them. All those fears of, what if I can't carry to term...what if we lose this baby too will we even be able to cope with that... and you get the point.

Month five came along and I wanted so badly to know what we were having! For Seana we did not want to know but with Joeli we had intended to find out and had everything scheduled for the morning she was then born. It was heartbreaking going into labor with Joeli without knowing her gender. For some reason, this in particular felt unfair. It was just the next day we were supposed to be so elated and share our joyous news like everyone enjoys doing so much. But that was stolen from us too. With all of this in mind, for Sadie's pregnancy I wanted to find out and I wanted to rejoice! I wanted to rejoice as almost to throw it back in the enemy's face that life was not stolen from us this time but that it was growing and real and beautiful! But, yet, I was terrified for that appointment more than any other appointment. I was absolutely sick and fearful that we could even possibly ever have to face seeing a lifeless ultrasound screen again. But somehow, by God's miraculous grace and blessing... She was healthy, and moving and kicking and living! LIVING! Thank you Jesus, for Sadie May's life!

It was soon after this that we chose her name, Sadie May. Sadie can mean beautiful or princess and May means gift of God and so I very intentionally wanted to name her Sadie May because she was such a BEAUTIFUL GIFT OF GOD! A BLESSING!

Then came the new territory, month six, month seven, month eight, month nine and I knew by month nine she was a big baby (ends up she was our biggest at 8lb 10oz). Then came her delivery. It was not easy or short. In fact it was very scary at one point during labor 10-15 nurses and doctors rushed into our delivery room as Sadies heart rate was rapidly declining. They were a bit frantic and I just started to cry as the had me moving from position to position trying to help her heart to beat stronger. I remember in the most awkward position just bawling my eyes out and begging the Dr. to just take me back for a C-Section and not let me lose another baby girl. He assured me if he had to do that he would take me back but that we were giving this a try yet. And within a few minutes things calmed down and there was only about 5 medical staff in the room, and then 2 and then 1, my nurse. After that, more complications arose as there was meconium and NICU nurses and doctors brought in. I was told I was not going to be able to hold Sadie right away and that she was going to be suctioned and not encouraged to cry immediately and not to worry. But I still worried when after her birth I didn't hear her cry for a good minute or two, which is torture. I couldn't see her yet either because of the team or medical staff surrounding her in her little incubator. And I just broke down into the most ugly cry of gratitude to my REDEEMER after hearing her amazing cry. I was just crying and praising God out loud in that delivery room. I'll never forget those moments of peace and joy and hope restored.

Do you see it? Do you see how God chose to give us Sadie May's special, beautiful times in almost the exact dates as Joeli's? Do you see how He chose to redeem every day meant for our sadness and sickness and sorrow and fear and He now was filling each moment with joy and blessing and hope. Though we walked through the valley of the shadow of death, He restored our soul!

Sadie has a heart of compassion and sensitivity to the needs and hearts of those around her like no other child I've ever known. She was the most absolutely easy, happy, cuddly baby in the entire world! She filled our hearts and home with a new joy and love. She helped to heal our broken hearts and bind up our wounds. And though some may call this their "rainbow baby" because it is said that a baby after a "loss" is like a rainbow after the storm or a promise after the storm, I do not look at any of my children as a "promise". Sadie was not promised to me, as none of our children were. Yet, God, who is rich in mercy and grace and goodness and love chose to bless us with Sadie May. So, she is our BLESSING baby!

Today, this special blessing turns 5! Time is moving unbelievably quickly these days.

Have you taken time today to ask God to redeem your story for His glory? He's in the business of redeeming and restoring and blessing.

May He redeem yours like He has ours:)

~Abi

Rice Cakes and turning down blessings...

The other day leaving my friends house there was a man "setting up shop" in the middle of the highway at a red light. Had his huge overflowing suitcase and a big cardboard sign. As my lane of traffic inched closer to him he finished and opened his sign which I read just in time for the light to change, "hungry... would rather beg than steal"... So I quickly glanced down at what I had "on hand" and offered the man my rice cakes package as I slowly drove toward him and he very loudly and without a moments hesitation proclaimed, "No, I don't want no rice cakes!"

Wow. I was astonished and could only laugh.

This man, a self proclaimed, "beggar" is going to be so choosy as to turn down food even when so "hungry"?! I was speechless.

So as I pulled away I did what I often do when things in life leave me bewildered. I asked God, "what is it that I could learn from this man today?" 
It's been humbling recently to have to ask for help... and many friends and family have come through in big ways for our family... And God Himself has come through in big ways to meet our needs as well as our desires. Yet, it can be very easy to see the rice cake and still want the steak... So to speak;):)

I felt God very plainly saying, "This is done so many times to Me. You ask for things. But you want it your way or no way. You beg for blessings, but when they aren't packaged just how you desire, you refuse the ones I offer you. See the gifts I have provided you in all you have right now and do not seek so much "extra" that you miss out in the "ordinary" something that is actually "extra ordinary" enough to meet your needs--like a rice cake rather than a steak. 

It's been humbling recently to have to ask for help... and many friends and family have come through in big ways for our family... And God Himself has come through in big ways to meet our needs as well as our desires. Yet, it can be very easy to see the rice cake and still want the steak... So to speak;):)

We are so grateful for those who are being for our family the hands and feet of Jesus and helping us in this time! Praying God blesses and meets your needs too!! And may we together remember to rejoice and accept with gladness and gratefulness the rice cakes too--not just the steaks;)

Dishes and GASP, hot dogs!

I just can't stop thinking about two recent interactions with my sisters. 
"What in the world, have you not done your dishes for like a week?!" 
Me- nope that is just ONE DAYs worth and not even a full day... 

"Sheesh how many hot dogs do you have to make!" (For you health freaks, I know, GASP! I feed my family hot dogs sometimes)
Me- I know it's a lot! They each eat like two.

Oh the life of my young married days when I could actually let the dishes go for almost a week... Or buy and cook only 3 hot dogs for one meal... And yet how all the house chores and groceries and cooking felt so overrwhelming and monstrous at times. 

Flash forward to life now, I actually feel more able to accomplish all that must be done and more at peace in letting the things go that can be let go to save sanity. Yet I have a heftier load... 

Over the years I have learned and am still in the process of learning and living as Paul wrote to give thanks in all circumstances... For as the writer of One Thousand Gifts has come to understand, "A thankful heart is a happy heart"-Veggie Tales! So, am I always thankful for the dishes overflowing my sinks brim? Let's be honest, Nah! Am I always thankful for my larger than life minimum food for the budget grocery list or bill or cooking food for our small army?! Honestly, no, sometimes I'm not. Sometimes it's exhausting and overwhelming. 

But, in it all, I can step back from the exhaustion and fatigue and give thanks to God for a hard working and dedicated husband who works so hard to provide for our family and leads us in Gods ways. I can give thanks for our beautiful amazing kids who fill our hearts and home and eat all the delicious food (yes my friends, even hot dogs are delicious when you get the right ones haha) God has provided in that large grocery trip. And I can give thanks for dishes in a sink rather than having to eat off the ground with dirty hands! 

Thank you God for all the blessings--they aren't always easy or wrapped up in bows and ribbons and without work and effort--but there is beauty for ashes and blessings in the valley even if it's the shade of the mountains. 

So, today, will you praise Him in the shade or will you keep looking to the mountain peaks and miss the beauty in the gifts already around you?!

Punishing winds to guide or to grow

Running is my time. It's my time with God. It's my time to be quiet. Something neither I, nor those around me, do very often. When I'm quiet, I can hear Him. And I purposely ask Him to speak to me when I"m on a run. I love how He answers prayers.

Do you ever feel like you're being punished? Like God is against you? Like everything is "going wrong"? Do you ever feel like you are hitting wall after wall? Sometimes adversity is for our gain and can strengthen us and draw us nearer to God and teach us perseverance; grow us. Yet, other times, adversity may be from God Himself and not for our growth, but instead for our awareness and hopefully to alert us of where we are going "off course". So I'll ask you today to read with discernment of what I share into your own situation--what type of adversity are you facing today? Is it for your growth or for your warning to guide you in His ways rather than you own?

I know He's spoken this to my heart before, but today it was another reminder. When I ran with the wind, it was as if it pushed me on, led me, guided me...like it was FOR me. Yet, with the rain pelting me in my face and the harsh early spring wind wildly punishing my body, it was as if the exact opposite happened when I turned. The wind, the rain, the hills, it ALL was against me. Or, was it that I had turned the wrong way? See, I believe what God was asking me to do was to talk to Him and examine myself. He was asking me to examine my heart, my mind, my motives, my actions, my words. He was leading me to ask, "God, in what ways am I turned from you? In what areas of my heart and mind am I going AGAINST you instead of running WITH you?"

So, today, my prayer is that we can ask that question together. That we can ask God to reveal to us in what areas of our lives we are turned from Him and ask Him to give us the wisdom and strength to turn back and go His way, to run with Him! Are your punishing winds guiding you or growing you? Maybe you just need to "turn around" in some areas of your life so that you aren't facing the punishing winds at all:)

Blessings,

Abi

The "quiet time" guilt lie - I'll take my loud times

I used to "struggle" with this so often... but then God gently spoke to my heart and reminded me that He is in every aspect of my life, in my mundane and ordinary and in every moment I can find Him and be reminded of His words without sometimes putting that pressure on myself to "work" at it or feel like if I don't find that "quiet time" that I'm somehow missing Him. I don't say that to mean it isn't valuable to try to find quiet times or spend consistent time studying His word but when it becomes a source of frustration or something that makes me feel like I failed because I didn't find or keep it or spend actual "quiet/uninterrupted" time...then I think quite possibly I'm missing the point... like I've missed Him altogether in what He longs for creating with me.
Especially as a busy mom with young kids it can be so difficult to find that quiet time. So I've found it vital for myself to seek Him in the dishes, in the tantrums, in the late nights and early mornings and in the craziness of life too:)

I've also been finding especially in my new family of 6 household that speaking Gods word is not only powerful and life altering for myself, but it has had to become such am integral part of my everyday language with my children! One verse in particular we have been using quite frequently is "A gentle answer turns AWAY wrath. a harsh word stirs up anger." Proverbs 15:1 all I have I say is THANK you Proverbs!! My mouth is changed because of your reminders and my children's little lips are being shaped by your reminders too!

God's quiet times with me are often rather loud lately:) and to be honest, I wouldn't want it any other way! At the end of the day am I utterly exhausted and sometimes overwhelmed by the day that just flew by me like a fart out of a bean filled gut? (Was that potty humor at its finest or what?! Didn't I tell you I spend my day with kids?! Fair warning for next time!) Well yes I am. But I'm spent as well as filled to the brim and overflowing with joy and stories and love and hugs and cuddles and kisses and "I love you!"-s that could just cause me to burst!!

So, you have your quiet times! I'll take my loud times with God:)

Cauliflower

Cauliflower Tortillas (Paleo, Grain Free, Gluten free)

4.8 from 47 reviews

Print

Prep time: 10 mins

Cook time: 17 mins

Total time: 27 mins

Serves: 6-7

Ingredients

• ¾ a head of cauliflower riced or 2 cups riced and packed
• 2 eggs
• salt and pepper to taste

Instructions

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees and line a baking tray with parchment paper.
2. For these I actually rice my cauliflower slightly more fine that cauliflower rice. Toss ¾ a head of cauliflower cut up and most of the stem removed and pulse until you get a texture slightly finer than rice. (Once it’s riced measure it to make sure you have 2 cups packed.)
3. Place riced cauliflower in bowl and microwave for 2 minutes and stir, then another two minutes and stir again then place in a dish towel and squeeze excess water out as hard as you can. (You’re going to want to get out as much water as you can and be careful not to burn yourself because it’s going to be very hot.)
4. Place drained cauliflower back in bowl and add two eggs, salt and pepper and mix until well combined.
5. As a note it will be a little bit runny but shouldn’t be pure liquid either. Spread mixture onto a baking sheet into 6 small fairly flat circles.
6. Place in the oven for 10 minutes then pull out of the oven and carefully peel them off the parchment and flip them and place back in the oven for 5-7 more minutes.
7. Once they’re done place them on a wire rack to cool slightly.
8. Heat a medium sized pan over medium heat and place the tortillas into the pan pressing down slightly and brown them to your liking. (Don’t skip this step because it gives them slightly crispy on the edges and gives them a wonderfully nutty taste)

http://slimpalate.com/cauliflower-tortillas-paleo-grain-free-gluten-free/

Pumpkin recipes modified for low sugar/low flour/low milk

pie crust recipe: (this recipe makes enough for one 9in crust)
1 c white whole wheat flour
1/2 c red cooked quinoa
1 tsp stevia
1 tsp honey
1/2 c canola oil
2 Tbs coconut oil melted and spread over top of molded to pan crust)


Pie filling: (this recipe makes enough to fill two pies)
1 c honey
1/2 c raw organic coconut sugar
2 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp ginger
1/2 tsp cloves
4 lg eggs (if you are looking for lower cholesterol you can substitute flax seed and water for as many eggs as you want)
1 29 oz pumpkin
1 c lactaid milk
2 c unsweetened soy milk

Bake at pre heated 425 oven for 15 min then turn down to 350 for approximately 45 min

Delicious pumpkin cake recipe
1 C honey
1 C raw organic coconut sugar
1 C canola oil
1/4 C safflower or olive oil
1 tsp coconut extract
2 C canned pumpkin
2 eggs
2 Tbsp flax seed with 6 Tbsp water (to replace 2 eggs)
1 C stone ground whole wheat flour
1 C all purpose flour
3 tsp baking powder
2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp ground cloves
1 C chopped/ground walnuts

Bake 30-40 minutes at 350

New natural alternatives

Natural laundry detergent:
1C grated fels naptha soap
1/2 C washing soda
1/2 C borax
Use 1Tbs per load

Natural deodorant
2Tbs baking soda
2 Tbs cornstarch
3 Tbs organic expeller pressed coconut oil
4 drops young living essential oil of your choice... i use lavender oil

Natural baby wipes

2 cups hot water. 2 Tbs baby wash. 2 Tbs coconut oil. 2 drops lavender essential oil.

Natural lip balm

• 1 part beeswax (example- 1 tablespoon)
• 2 parts shea, cocoa or mango butter(example-2 tablespoons)
• 2 parts coconut oil (example-2 tablespoons)
• 2 drops per lip balm container of desired essential oil 

"We miss you every day... but we know there's a day when we will see you!"

How do I feel about Joeli’s birth day?

Six years. Six years seems so long ago that I sat five months pregnant with our second child, completely devastated, in disbelief and barely able to breath, staring at a lifeless ultrasound screen. But, when I think about that night it feels like it’s only a breath away from me and steals my breath all the same.

Life doesn't always work out the way we pray, hope or wish. When I look at our family picture, it still feels it’s missing our Joeli. That doesn’t go away. And, time hasn’t healed the wound left in her absence. But, something very important has happened in these past six years. It’s something that doesn’t devastate me, but instead it brings me hope and a sense of peace. Peace, however, is something that I’ve learned doesn’t mean “healed’ or “whole” or even “a state of acceptance”, but instead, means a trust and a faith that remains despite all else being shaken and moved. Peace that is like a River, a rushing, often crushing or twisting or winding River. A river doesn’t always make sense or take the same easily gently flowing path. It is MOVING and changing and real and active. That is the peace I’ve found. And, the important thing that has happened over these past six years is that God has been with me through it all. He has led me closer to His heart. He has heard my prayers. He has brought me opportunity to share about His great love and grace through Joeli Grace. And my hope and I believe a calling on our family is that through our experience with her deeply painful loss we have and take the opportunity to walk alongside and encourage even one other couple facing a similar loss. I do believe, by God's grace, we have been able to do this. And to me, more than anything else, I see my precious daughters life and through these past six years I can do nothing more than thank God that I too, have been changed by her life. God is with us when life isn't going the way we planned. When we can't feel Him we must make a choice to believe in this promise anyway!

Shortly before I became pregnant with Joeli a prayer of mine was that God would open doors for me to be bold in sharing about His great love. I was asking Him to give me more opportunity to share about Him with others. I journaled about this and looking back can see God using Joeli’s life as an answer to that prayer. Her life and loss have opened the doors for so many people to hear about God’s love and His plan for our lives. She emboldened me. When I think of that I can smile because I believe she has truly touched so many lives in her short time with us. I can’t help but be so grateful to be the mom of such a beautiful blessing to this world!

I can smile, but I won’t lie, I also have done a lot of crying over the past six years when I think of her life cut short. We wish she was here! I wish she could be one of the older sisters in this crazy big messy goofy family fighting for a turn to hold our little Jemma. I wish she was blowing out six candles on her cake. I wish I was kissing her goodnight along with our other children. But, I am at peace (the kind I’ve found) and I truly believe with all of my heart she is with her Maker and oh how that makes my heart long for my true Home in Heaven one day.

She has led me closer to Him! She has made Heaven more near to my heart! She has changed this world because of her presence here! All of these are things I hope for my other children, as well. I hope they lead others closer to Him, I know they have already given me glimpses of the Fathers love like nothing else on earth could, and I hope they change this world for His glory! Because of her amazing brother and sisters, I feel her here sometimes. I see her smile in theirs. I can almost hear her laughter in their giggles. And I like to think of her smiling down on us knowing one day we’ll all be together glorifying our Maker hand in hand.

I have a couple requests of YOU for her Birth day this year. If your life has been touched by Joeli would you please take the opportunity to share the simple words, “God loves you!” with someone on January 30^th? Maybe even share those simple words with six people in honor of her sixth… Maybe even take the time to tell someone God has a special plan for their life and tell them that a little girl named Joeli has touched you even before she breathed her first and so you KNOW God has great plans for their life too! How special would that be that YOU can be a part of God’s plan for her life too and share about His awesome gift of love and eternal LIFE?! It would bless and encourage our hearts so much to know that her story and her life are still touching others! SO, if you take the opportunity to do that please please share with us! And lastly, please say a prayer for us on the 30^th especially, as we remember her this year.

Thanks for considering joining us in remembering her life and legacy in this meaningful way this year for her 6^th! We haven’t been on this journey alone. Along the way many encouraging and supportive friends and family have helped us stand when we felt incapable and walk when we were crippled and rest when we were weary. For those of you who continue to encourage us and also remember her with us, for those of you who openly speak about her life not just her loss and what it has meant to you…THANK YOU doesn’t even touch how grateful we are for YOU!

Happy 6^th Birthday Joeli Grace Dougherty!

~Abi Dougherty

“We miss you every day and we miss you in every way. But we know there’s a day when we will see you, we will see you!” -Watermark