Chairs, BEWARE!

 You WANT to know the story of this one!

 (Wedding pic inserted for 🤩 fun! It was our first dance! We got dance lessons in a New Holland studio to prep for this. And the song was Steven Curtis Chapman’s, We Will Dance.)

Sean is a big guy! One of the funniest little things I have found to laugh at throughout our marriage is all of the times he has hit his head on things because of his height. Even on one of our first dates he was walking up a flight of stairs and we quickly learned the ceiling was slanting-so as he walked up, it was coming down. Soon his head was wedged and we were cracking up. Okay, okay, I was cracking up. 

But bumping his head on things is one funny part of being a big guy… the other funny part of the experience of him being a big guy is all of the plastic chairs that have snapped while he tries to just take a seat. It is something we both just have to laugh at! 

The absolute funniest chair-busting story was the time I was sitting in our kitchen sitting area, which we call The Butterfly room, and Sean was in a rush to get something done on his laptop at our sit-in computer desk… and so I hear him bounding down our hallway into the kitchen and he goes to take a seat on our desk chair and 💥 BOOM! I mean 

He

Obliterated 

That

Chair

Parts and pieces flying annnnddddd he landed square on his bum on the floor just absolutely dumbfounded! Like, he gave me the dumbfounded face, turned to me and we just stared at that chair in all its pieces… and we just… OKAY, okay, 

I 

JUST

started rolling with laughter! 

Retelling the story it just doesn’t feel nearly as hysterical as it was in the moment! But it was absolutely hilarious! The dude is a big guy and he just sometimes forgets himself and how maybe sitting gently and carefully might be a thing for him 🤪😜🤣😆 

CHAIRS, BEWARE! 

“A happy heart is good medicine and a joyful mind causes healing, But a broken spirit dries up the bones. [Prov 12:25; 15:13, 15]”

Proverbs 17:22 AMP

There is no shortage of laughter in our marriage and for that I am forever grateful! I love to laugh 🫶🏼 I hope today you can look for ways to add laughter into your marriage! Even if you don’t have a 6’ 6’’ dude bringing the chair-busting laughs! Maybe look up some YouTube chair busting and get some good laughs! 

-Abi

Can’t Feel My Face

Have you ever thought you looked one way only to find out you actually looked another? Have you ever been chatting it up only to realize your teeth are filled with pieces of salad. Have you ever gotten a facial and decided to feel your face and feel you’re fresh as a baby’s bottom only to realize you actually look like you went through a meat grinder? 

Well, definitely that last “have you ever”… I can say—I have 🤪 

So, when we were young and married we were also broke all the time. We were living off $9/hour and some part time work to supplement. We never treated ourselves to meals out or special events or things of extravagance. We just couldn’t. But as time went on, one of the jobs Sean had extended some perks and gave us an opportunity for me to get a free facial! I couldn’t believe my blessing. I’d never even had a facial before in my life. I was about 22 or so and boy was I excited! 

I went and enjoyed my time thoroughly! Although I will say I had some parts of the facial that were not quite so pleasant. One being the part where she told me the cream may burn a little, but to let her know! Well, not only was it burning—but it was ON FIRE and a bit scary! But she assured me, if it burns she can take care of it right away and so I told her it was burning and she began pulling out another cream to take care of the burning sensation and soon she was asking me how it was feeling now and assuring me it should feel great now. THAT was when full panic mode set in and I told her my face was still burning VERY BADLY… and that was when SHE began showing some panic in her voice as well. I could tell she was trying to remain calm and hopeful as she assured me… “Okay, I have another option yet, let me try this one!” And she lathered another cream on me and finally I began feeling some relief from the sheer fire terror on my face! 

There was also a good bit of pain involved in all of the extractions she was doing, but I tried to be brave and just accept that this MUST be the experience of a facial— and boy was I ever blessed to finally experience one!! 

I felt my face and I couldn’t stop touching! LOL—smoother than a baby’s bottom! I mean quite literally I hadn’t felt my face so smooth like—EVER!! And I was BEYOND excited to get home and show Sean how clear and fresh my face was and how good I looked! 

I got home.

I walked into our tiny 1 bedroom home in Rohererstown and I proudly and loudly said, “WELL, what do you think?” Meanwhile doing the face frame hand motion and anxiously awaiting what in my head was definitely going to be a, “Wow babe, you look INCREDIBLE!” Only to have some mild giggles instead and a, “Well… You look like you’ve been through a meat grinder.” 

And I learned yet another thing about Sean that night. He is awfully honest. And I mean awfully 😳😩😜🤪 

I promptly ran to our closest mirror and was quite horrified myself and at my own reflection! I couldn’t believe it! BUT I FELT SO SMOOTH and good! But I looked SO AWFUL AND BLOTCHY and irritated! 

I can’t feel my face… apparently! 

I did feel my face 

But I clearly could not truly feel my face and know what it actually looked like! 

Reminds me of the scripture 

“For if anyone only listens to the word without obeying it, he is like a man who looks very carefully at his natural face in a mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he immediately forgets what he looked like. But he who looks carefully into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and faithfully abides by it, not having become a [careless] listener who forgets but an active doer [who obeys], he will be blessed and favored by God in what he does [in his life of obedience]. If anyone thinks himself to be religious [scrupulously observant of the rituals of his faith], and does not control his tongue but deludes his own heart, this person’s religion is worthless (futile, barren). Pure and unblemished religion [as it is expressed in outward acts] in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit and look after the fatherless and the widows in their distress, and to keep oneself uncontaminated by the [secular] world.”

James 1:23-27 AMP

Thank God for marriage and honesty! I love just being able to keep it real and having someone to walk alongside of me who will also do the same! 

Seed to Flower

 They say you can’t marry someone expecting them to change. The funny thing is, you also can’t marry someone expecting them NOT to change. 

When we first got married one of my favorite hobbies was to run. I loved running daily or as close to it as I could. My mileage looked like a solid two miles every run. I never really did more and I never really did less. I started running when I was about 14. Mostly it became my way to cope with anxiety and stress. And I loved it. I felt like it was my time to connect with God and for Him to walk me through all of my struggles while I ran! He speaks to my heart more in certain spaces and ways and running is one of those places where I always seem to hear Gods voice more clearly! 

I recall many times that I would quite literally BEG Sean to run with me! 

“PLEASE!! It’s just two miles!” I’d BEG. But to no avail. He would ALWAYS cut out at mile one claiming, “I’m not a runner!”. And telling me he HATES running. 

My heart yearned for sharing that joy with him. I wanted so badly to be “that running couple.” And just to share the fun memories and challenge each other.

Soon my own running journey shifted. I saw a dear friend of mine complete a half marathon and I was INSPIRED! I felt like I would NEVER run more than two miles, but after seeing her be able to accomplish that and chatting with her more, my perspective began to shift! She told me a friend of hers told her whatever mileage she could run that she CAN double it without much trouble!! So, with that mindset shift I began to believe that since I could run 2 miles —I could definitely run 4. And then I thought— once I can run 4 regularly, I can run 8… and that’s pretty close to 10 and once I can run 10 that’s only 3.1 more to run a HALF MARATHON!!!! Whoa! All of the sudden even the idea became an attainable goal to aim for! So half marathon training began! 

I trained for a year, slowly upping my daily and weekly mileage and goals! I ran my first 7 miler and attained something I truly was not sure I could do —which was to run longer than one hour without stopping! Sean cheered me on through all of it! He was my biggest support and cheering crowd! He would bring the kids to meet me half way on long runs and give me water and offer loving words of affirmation. It was amazing! And then I did it! I ran my first half marathon in October 2011, just 6 months post partum from delivering our 4th child and still nursing. 

My running journey continued and I loved my new found passion of distance running. 

Still Sean refused to run.

It was not until 2013 that Sean started running even a little on his own and then in 2016 he began adding a bit of mileage and a bit more consistency. And then FINALLY in September of 2021 he ran his first ever race, a 3.1 miler… and it finally lit a fire in him!! 

Now my man asks to run FOR HIS BIRTHDAY! He asks TO RUN TOGETHER! He pushes me to run! He is now a self proclaimed runner! What happened? HE CHANGED! He grew! He allowed a weakness to become a strength and a pain to become a joy! And for us to enjoy this hobby together now! And here is a picture of us after running our first ever half marathon TOGETHER in 2021  

There was a part of me that felt like it was “too little too late.” If I’m being honest it was hard for me to accept that he was finally running. By the time he became a “runner” I was struggling. I reached my 40’s last year and had issues since 2021 recovering post delivery of my 7th child. My running journey was stagnant and struggling. But together we pushed through and I’m back at it and we are in it together and it only took 17 years of marriage to get there! SEVENTEEN! I mean that’s crazy! But here we are! Now nearing 21 years and we are loving our runs and adding in walking together too! We are also enjoying prayer walks together recently—ever growing and ever changing! 

From SEED to FLOWER! 🌺 

We planted and put in some hard work and the results are a beautiful garden of enjoying the love of running TOGETHER! 

If you’re planting seeds and patiently waiting for change to take place—don’t give up! With God ALL THINGS are possible! 

“For with God nothing [is or ever] shall be impossible.””

‭‭Luke‬ ‭1‬:‭37‬ ‭AMP‬‬

“Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening].”

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13‬:‭7‬ ‭

Fight Hard, Love Harder

 Suffice it to say, WE WERE KIDS! 

Babies!! 

Just wee lil ones! 

At just 19 and 21, we had no clue what we were getting into. 

It was just a few weeks into marriage and what do you think happened? Well, we got into our first fight. One of the sayings I have coined in our 21 years of marriage is:

We FIGHT HARD.

But we will ALWAYS CHOOSE TO LOVE HARDER. 

And fight we did. We fought that day over, who knows what now. But at that time it obviously felt like a hill we both were willing to die on. Looking back, I know I was hard headed. And he, my equal. So, there we were fighting in our one bedroom tiny apartment in Columbia. I remember it all pretty well still actually, even near 21 years later. He looked me square in the eyes and said, and I quote, “You say ONE MORE WORD and I’M LEAVING!” My ridiculously goofy, young and immature 19-year-old self boldly and unashamedly declared, and I quote, “WORD!” 

I was giggling in my head and he promptly turned and walked 

Right

Out

Our kitchen door! 

I learned one very true thing about Sean that day. 

He is a man of his W O R D. (lol my goofy self inserts pun intended there 🤪) 

But literally, I did learn something about Sean  that day. And… I was TERRIFIED!! I was terrified he didn’t just walk away but that our marriage was now over and that he like actually LEFT. So I decided I would go outside and see if I could find him. Maybe he was just on our porch waiting for me to come get him? Maybe he was just pacing our street? But to my even further dismay and fear, when I got outside he was NOWHERE to be seen! And, his car was still there, but that meant he went far and fast on foot already! How could our little fight have escalated so quickly? I was scared and devastated, so I quickly did the only thing I could think of next. I called one of his best men and while crying I asked him if he’d heard from Sean and where he might be!! And as I’m sitting on our front porch on the phone crying…I finally see Sean. In his car, in the drivers seat, “sleeping”.  Or at the very least, very unbothered and resting 😳🤪☹️😆 as our kids would say to something like that… TRUE STORY BRUH! 

I still look back on our first fight story and laugh! What a story to tell! But it’s such a vivid reminder of what our immaturity and selfishness can do in marital disagreements. Without fighting fair or with maturity, it is so easy to circle back into our same old fight patterns!! It reminds me actually of a time we were also fighting not too long ago- maybe a few years ago - and we were in our car and being in the front seats side by side we somehow got to a quiet moment and both bent down into the center consul and bopped heads so bad!! Yet all we could do is look at each other and just start laughing. We’d been so angry and each other that all we could do is insist on our own way. We were quite literally both being super HARD HEADED (And God gets the credit for the pun intended on this one 🤪) We both say that it was almost like God looked down on us so dumbfounded at our continued immaturity and selfishness and just put his hands on our heads and purposefully bumped us together so we’d shut up and wise up! 

If only God would do that with all our dumb moments. If only He’d knock some sense into us without the concussion 🤪 Really though. Why does it have to sometimes take so much for us to calm ourselves down and just listen or just forgo our own way to soften the situation or see things differently? 

I’m thankful that though we do still fight and argue, God has taught us many lessons along the way and we are still two very independent thinkers with opinions that sometimes still do not align. Yet we have gained a lot of maturity and confidence and humility along the way—while still having much to continue gaining too!! 

We are a work in progress! The motto remains the same:

We FIGHT HARD.

But we will ALWAYS CHOOSE TO LOVE HARDER. 

Thanks be to God!! 

Hope you enjoyed the story! And hope you too can adopt the motto for your own marriage! Tune in tomorrow for another one :) 

-Abi