Seed to Flower

 They say you can’t marry someone expecting them to change. The funny thing is, you also can’t marry someone expecting them NOT to change. 

When we first got married one of my favorite hobbies was to run. I loved running daily or as close to it as I could. My mileage looked like a solid two miles every run. I never really did more and I never really did less. I started running when I was about 14. Mostly it became my way to cope with anxiety and stress. And I loved it. I felt like it was my time to connect with God and for Him to walk me through all of my struggles while I ran! He speaks to my heart more in certain spaces and ways and running is one of those places where I always seem to hear Gods voice more clearly! 

I recall many times that I would quite literally BEG Sean to run with me! 

“PLEASE!! It’s just two miles!” I’d BEG. But to no avail. He would ALWAYS cut out at mile one claiming, “I’m not a runner!”. And telling me he HATES running. 

My heart yearned for sharing that joy with him. I wanted so badly to be “that running couple.” And just to share the fun memories and challenge each other.

Soon my own running journey shifted. I saw a dear friend of mine complete a half marathon and I was INSPIRED! I felt like I would NEVER run more than two miles, but after seeing her be able to accomplish that and chatting with her more, my perspective began to shift! She told me a friend of hers told her whatever mileage she could run that she CAN double it without much trouble!! So, with that mindset shift I began to believe that since I could run 2 miles —I could definitely run 4. And then I thought— once I can run 4 regularly, I can run 8… and that’s pretty close to 10 and once I can run 10 that’s only 3.1 more to run a HALF MARATHON!!!! Whoa! All of the sudden even the idea became an attainable goal to aim for! So half marathon training began! 

I trained for a year, slowly upping my daily and weekly mileage and goals! I ran my first 7 miler and attained something I truly was not sure I could do —which was to run longer than one hour without stopping! Sean cheered me on through all of it! He was my biggest support and cheering crowd! He would bring the kids to meet me half way on long runs and give me water and offer loving words of affirmation. It was amazing! And then I did it! I ran my first half marathon in October 2011, just 6 months post partum from delivering our 4th child and still nursing. 

My running journey continued and I loved my new found passion of distance running. 

Still Sean refused to run.

It was not until 2013 that Sean started running even a little on his own and then in 2016 he began adding a bit of mileage and a bit more consistency. And then FINALLY in September of 2021 he ran his first ever race, a 3.1 miler… and it finally lit a fire in him!! 

Now my man asks to run FOR HIS BIRTHDAY! He asks TO RUN TOGETHER! He pushes me to run! He is now a self proclaimed runner! What happened? HE CHANGED! He grew! He allowed a weakness to become a strength and a pain to become a joy! And for us to enjoy this hobby together now! And here is a picture of us after running our first ever half marathon TOGETHER in 2021  

There was a part of me that felt like it was “too little too late.” If I’m being honest it was hard for me to accept that he was finally running. By the time he became a “runner” I was struggling. I reached my 40’s last year and had issues since 2021 recovering post delivery of my 7th child. My running journey was stagnant and struggling. But together we pushed through and I’m back at it and we are in it together and it only took 17 years of marriage to get there! SEVENTEEN! I mean that’s crazy! But here we are! Now nearing 21 years and we are loving our runs and adding in walking together too! We are also enjoying prayer walks together recently—ever growing and ever changing! 

From SEED to FLOWER! 🌺 

We planted and put in some hard work and the results are a beautiful garden of enjoying the love of running TOGETHER! 

If you’re planting seeds and patiently waiting for change to take place—don’t give up! With God ALL THINGS are possible! 

“For with God nothing [is or ever] shall be impossible.””

‭‭Luke‬ ‭1‬:‭37‬ ‭AMP‬‬

“Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening].”

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13‬:‭7‬ ‭

Fight Hard, Love Harder

 Suffice it to say, WE WERE KIDS! 

Babies!! 

Just wee lil ones! 

At just 19 and 21, we had no clue what we were getting into. 

It was just a few weeks into marriage and what do you think happened? Well, we got into our first fight. One of the sayings I have coined in our 21 years of marriage is:

We FIGHT HARD.

But we will ALWAYS CHOOSE TO LOVE HARDER. 

And fight we did. We fought that day over, who knows what now. But at that time it obviously felt like a hill we both were willing to die on. Looking back, I know I was hard headed. And he, my equal. So, there we were fighting in our one bedroom tiny apartment in Columbia. I remember it all pretty well still actually, even near 21 years later. He looked me square in the eyes and said, and I quote, “You say ONE MORE WORD and I’M LEAVING!” My ridiculously goofy, young and immature 19-year-old self boldly and unashamedly declared, and I quote, “WORD!” 

I was giggling in my head and he promptly turned and walked 

Right

Out

Our kitchen door! 

I learned one very true thing about Sean that day. 

He is a man of his W O R D. (lol my goofy self inserts pun intended there 🤪) 

But literally, I did learn something about Sean  that day. And… I was TERRIFIED!! I was terrified he didn’t just walk away but that our marriage was now over and that he like actually LEFT. So I decided I would go outside and see if I could find him. Maybe he was just on our porch waiting for me to come get him? Maybe he was just pacing our street? But to my even further dismay and fear, when I got outside he was NOWHERE to be seen! And, his car was still there, but that meant he went far and fast on foot already! How could our little fight have escalated so quickly? I was scared and devastated, so I quickly did the only thing I could think of next. I called one of his best men and while crying I asked him if he’d heard from Sean and where he might be!! And as I’m sitting on our front porch on the phone crying…I finally see Sean. In his car, in the drivers seat, “sleeping”.  Or at the very least, very unbothered and resting 😳🤪☹️😆 as our kids would say to something like that… TRUE STORY BRUH! 

I still look back on our first fight story and laugh! What a story to tell! But it’s such a vivid reminder of what our immaturity and selfishness can do in marital disagreements. Without fighting fair or with maturity, it is so easy to circle back into our same old fight patterns!! It reminds me actually of a time we were also fighting not too long ago- maybe a few years ago - and we were in our car and being in the front seats side by side we somehow got to a quiet moment and both bent down into the center consul and bopped heads so bad!! Yet all we could do is look at each other and just start laughing. We’d been so angry and each other that all we could do is insist on our own way. We were quite literally both being super HARD HEADED (And God gets the credit for the pun intended on this one 🤪) We both say that it was almost like God looked down on us so dumbfounded at our continued immaturity and selfishness and just put his hands on our heads and purposefully bumped us together so we’d shut up and wise up! 

If only God would do that with all our dumb moments. If only He’d knock some sense into us without the concussion 🤪 Really though. Why does it have to sometimes take so much for us to calm ourselves down and just listen or just forgo our own way to soften the situation or see things differently? 

I’m thankful that though we do still fight and argue, God has taught us many lessons along the way and we are still two very independent thinkers with opinions that sometimes still do not align. Yet we have gained a lot of maturity and confidence and humility along the way—while still having much to continue gaining too!! 

We are a work in progress! The motto remains the same:

We FIGHT HARD.

But we will ALWAYS CHOOSE TO LOVE HARDER. 

Thanks be to God!! 

Hope you enjoyed the story! And hope you too can adopt the motto for your own marriage! Tune in tomorrow for another one :) 

-Abi