How Your Best Friend Becomes Your Worst Enemy...

How does your best friend become your worst enemy? By willfully choosing to remove the building blocks to a healthy thriving and lasting relationship. so what are those foundational building blocks?  

-trust

-forgiveness

-believing the best 

-healthy open communication 

-respecting boundaries

-resolving to work through conflict in a united manner

-equally yoked or "sameness" or at the very least the willingness to not fight or argue over the differences

This quote by Gary Chapman stuck out to me as this had become the pattern for how our relationship was going and I could not understand. But now I see she must be harboring hurt and anger which has turned into bitterness.

"When you allow hurt and anger to remain in your heart, they transition to bitterness. When bitterness remains in your heart, you tend to express your emotions with harsh, cutting, critical words that, in turn, make the situation worse. Do not let this be a pattern in your life." ~ Gary Chapman

Confusedaboutlove.com is talking about healthy marital love, but I feel it also applies to deep friendship... 

Some children suffer from emotional or physical neglect, abandonment or abuse.  If these psychological wounds are left untreated and unhealed, they may grow into adults who unconsciously re-create traumatic dynamics with their partners. The result may be vicious fighting or processing cycles that never seem to resolve. We call this the Traumatic LoveStyle. Others call it Traumatic Attachment.  People with this style usually require professional support to heal. (More information is available in our article, “Sudden Reaction Syndrome.”)

Recognizing her own brokenness has helped me in the deep hurt it causes that she has broken our relationship off and is unwilling to continue a friendship. I can find freedom from the pain because I can see that her heart has too much pain and cannot work toward healing our relationship until she heals the hurts within her own heart. Which leads me to pray. 

Jesus, I miss my friend. I miss the trust and fun and sharing we once had. Please heal her of the brokenness, anger, hurt, bitterness and deep wounds she has experienced so that maybe someday she might be able and willing to truly forgive and believe the best rather than assume the worst. And, if possible God give her a desire to forage a relationship that lasts. Help her to recognize her own brokenness and how it has affected our friendship too so that she can begin finding healing. Most of all, God I ask you to shift the spiritual forces working against and in her and allow her freedom to experience your great love for her! I long for a restored relationship but I know that this will never happen until her heart finds healing and ability to forgive and for her to be able to communicate openly. So God I ask in sincerity that you bridge the gaps and help her, strengthen her, uplift her and show her how-give her more of You. I pray that she begin longing-hungering-thirsting after You and recognizing that the emptiness and the space within her heart that feels so lacking and scattered is a place that desperately needs YOU! You're the only one who fills us, heals us and helps us! Bring her to Yourself God! I ask all this in Jesus name. Amen!