7:17 Reminds me of the joy of that day...the flowers, the time in the upper room while my "Aunt" Rose did my hair, Beth did my nails and friends piled in to share in the joy. It reminds me of butterflies being released and the hillarious moments of that day...the leopard print thong (worn not by me mind you), the speech given by my sister, the loud YES I screamed out after we said the "I do's". There are so many fun, funny and charming memories I love looking back on.
Yet, the other day I was reminded of the importance of not just looking back and focusing on the "fun" of that day. But instead, remembering the commitment in that day. It is so important to look back and remember, ponder and hold dear the words I spoke, we spoke, on that very special day. Sometimes it's easy to just do things because they're "fun" and "easy" and "light"...but what about in the tough times, in the hard times and in the not so "fun" moments? In those moments the strength, power and fierce importance of those words I spoke with my lips must come to my mind and be held onto. Our marriage has been filled with so much joy and life and love. But I would be lying to say that it has not also been muddied with times of desperate hurt, loss, pain and at times yelling in frustration.
Sean and I are both strong, independent thinkers with powerful thoughts that often come out in powerful ways :) Our first year of marriage was filled with many times of joy, and anything we did we did it with intensity; we fight hard and we love hard. One particular "fight" we had (which we don't even know what it was about anymore) we both remember and it kind of cracks us up to this day. Sean told me, "You say one more word and I am walking out the door..." To which I boldly and proudly proclaimed, "Word!" After which he walked out the front door. I "let him go" and then got worried after several minutes of him not just coming back in. I really thought he would come back and it was all just a show. Not so! Like I said, we are bold, independent thinkers and that was just one example... Don't worry, it ended well after I walked outside and looked down the street and didn't see him ANYWHERE. I sat on the front step of our tiny one bedroom apartment in the rough neck of the woods crying... I called his best friend and asked him to try to call him and find out where he was. As I was doing so, he was apparently "sleeping" in our car after he'd decided to lay the chair back and "rest awhile". Fires me up a bit to this day to think that while I was worried I'd lost him forever he was calmly laying his head down for a rest. You know how men just hit the pillow and fall asleep in an instant, yup that's him. There I was intensely worried I'd never see him again and he was ASLEEP. Yup, it's a man's porrogative to find it rather easy to "rest" worries away while we often need to "blab" them away :) Anyway, eventually we talked it out and everything was fine. Thankfully God has given us the great ability to communicate deeply and openly even about the "tough stuff". It's one thing that saves our marriage in the tough stuff. Communication. But above communication, is Commitment. Which again takes me back to 7:17.
On that day we chose our wedding verse to be: John 15:5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." We have chosen to make daily prayer and Bible reading a part of our marriage and family life from day one. Together, with God as our guide we can do everything, bear everything, and love in all circumstances...but apart from Him we can do NOTHING! He has been the third chord in our three stranded rope. He has held us together when many things have almost torn us apart, or even when we have almost torn each other apart so to speak. We have not been anywhere close to "perfect" and in our weakest moments aside from the commitment we made before God and the "witnesses", we have failed. Our marriage would have broken into pieces had we not continually been able to forgive, walk in love, re-commit, and keep working towards a Christ-like love and commitment in our marriage. To be very deeply honest, we have had moments where it felt like the end, but for some reason God chose to allow us to be spared from that sorrow and to walk us back to closer walks with Him and to gently lead us to a closer walk together hand in hand.
And we do, we grow, we change and we develop into one. I think the saying, "two shall become one" is often so misconstrued in our Cinderella love story minds. It isn't that two fall in love and ARE then one...it truly is that you must WORK to BECOME one.
Mark 10:7-9
New International Version (NIV)
7 ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,[a] 8 and the two will become one flesh.’[b] So they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
So, all my "love" fly's out the window like a broken winged butterfly when I have a bad day or a fight with the one I love...BUT, if I commit, re-commit and remember the very strong fierce powerful words I spoke on that joyous day I am reminded that I must CHOOSE to continue WORKING at "becoming one" with the man I chose to commit my life to in love. Is it fun and joyous? Yes, fiercely fun and enjoyable. But, it's a lot of work at times too and I need to remember the great importance of those words just as much as I remember the times of fun and joy.
Today, if your marriage is hurting or happy, if your heart is broken or whole, if your words mean much or little and if your love is like a heart or shattered like glass I encourage you to take a moment and remember that you have a beautiful choice to make... you can continue "working" on becoming one even in the tough stuff and also be reminded to guard the sanctity of your words in the light and joyous times too.
Be blessed, be encouraged, be challenged as you work to become one!
Love,
Abi
John 15:13
Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
So, all my "love" fly's out the window like a broken winged butterfly when I have a bad day or a fight with the one I love...BUT, if I commit, re-commit and remember the very strong fierce powerful words I spoke on that joyous day I am reminded that I must CHOOSE to continue WORKING at "becoming one" with the man I chose to commit my life to in love. Is it fun and joyous? Yes, fiercely fun and enjoyable. But, it's a lot of work at times too and I need to remember the great importance of those words just as much as I remember the times of fun and joy.
Today, if your marriage is hurting or happy, if your heart is broken or whole, if your words mean much or little and if your love is like a heart or shattered like glass I encourage you to take a moment and remember that you have a beautiful choice to make... you can continue "working" on becoming one even in the tough stuff and also be reminded to guard the sanctity of your words in the light and joyous times too.
Be blessed, be encouraged, be challenged as you work to become one!
Love,
Abi
John 15:13
Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
When I model my love after Christ's, I remember that often I must lay down the things I think I need or want. When I do so, I am able to see that I find greater joy and blessings than I ever knew possible in laying down my "life" to find a new "one-ness" in the life we then live hand in hand.
loved this, Abi.
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