New natural alternatives

Natural laundry detergent:
1C grated fels naptha soap
1/2 C washing soda
1/2 C borax
Use 1Tbs per load

Natural deodorant
2Tbs baking soda
2 Tbs cornstarch
3 Tbs organic expeller pressed coconut oil
4 drops young living essential oil of your choice... i use lavender oil

Natural baby wipes

2 cups hot water. 2 Tbs baby wash. 2 Tbs coconut oil. 2 drops lavender essential oil.

Natural lip balm

• 1 part beeswax (example- 1 tablespoon)
• 2 parts shea, cocoa or mango butter(example-2 tablespoons)
• 2 parts coconut oil (example-2 tablespoons)
• 2 drops per lip balm container of desired essential oil 

"We miss you every day... but we know there's a day when we will see you!"

How do I feel about Joeli’s birth day?

Six years. Six years seems so long ago that I sat five months pregnant with our second child, completely devastated, in disbelief and barely able to breath, staring at a lifeless ultrasound screen. But, when I think about that night it feels like it’s only a breath away from me and steals my breath all the same.

Life doesn't always work out the way we pray, hope or wish. When I look at our family picture, it still feels it’s missing our Joeli. That doesn’t go away. And, time hasn’t healed the wound left in her absence. But, something very important has happened in these past six years. It’s something that doesn’t devastate me, but instead it brings me hope and a sense of peace. Peace, however, is something that I’ve learned doesn’t mean “healed’ or “whole” or even “a state of acceptance”, but instead, means a trust and a faith that remains despite all else being shaken and moved. Peace that is like a River, a rushing, often crushing or twisting or winding River. A river doesn’t always make sense or take the same easily gently flowing path. It is MOVING and changing and real and active. That is the peace I’ve found. And, the important thing that has happened over these past six years is that God has been with me through it all. He has led me closer to His heart. He has heard my prayers. He has brought me opportunity to share about His great love and grace through Joeli Grace. And my hope and I believe a calling on our family is that through our experience with her deeply painful loss we have and take the opportunity to walk alongside and encourage even one other couple facing a similar loss. I do believe, by God's grace, we have been able to do this. And to me, more than anything else, I see my precious daughters life and through these past six years I can do nothing more than thank God that I too, have been changed by her life. God is with us when life isn't going the way we planned. When we can't feel Him we must make a choice to believe in this promise anyway!

Shortly before I became pregnant with Joeli a prayer of mine was that God would open doors for me to be bold in sharing about His great love. I was asking Him to give me more opportunity to share about Him with others. I journaled about this and looking back can see God using Joeli’s life as an answer to that prayer. Her life and loss have opened the doors for so many people to hear about God’s love and His plan for our lives. She emboldened me. When I think of that I can smile because I believe she has truly touched so many lives in her short time with us. I can’t help but be so grateful to be the mom of such a beautiful blessing to this world!

I can smile, but I won’t lie, I also have done a lot of crying over the past six years when I think of her life cut short. We wish she was here! I wish she could be one of the older sisters in this crazy big messy goofy family fighting for a turn to hold our little Jemma. I wish she was blowing out six candles on her cake. I wish I was kissing her goodnight along with our other children. But, I am at peace (the kind I’ve found) and I truly believe with all of my heart she is with her Maker and oh how that makes my heart long for my true Home in Heaven one day.

She has led me closer to Him! She has made Heaven more near to my heart! She has changed this world because of her presence here! All of these are things I hope for my other children, as well. I hope they lead others closer to Him, I know they have already given me glimpses of the Fathers love like nothing else on earth could, and I hope they change this world for His glory! Because of her amazing brother and sisters, I feel her here sometimes. I see her smile in theirs. I can almost hear her laughter in their giggles. And I like to think of her smiling down on us knowing one day we’ll all be together glorifying our Maker hand in hand.

I have a couple requests of YOU for her Birth day this year. If your life has been touched by Joeli would you please take the opportunity to share the simple words, “God loves you!” with someone on January 30^th? Maybe even share those simple words with six people in honor of her sixth… Maybe even take the time to tell someone God has a special plan for their life and tell them that a little girl named Joeli has touched you even before she breathed her first and so you KNOW God has great plans for their life too! How special would that be that YOU can be a part of God’s plan for her life too and share about His awesome gift of love and eternal LIFE?! It would bless and encourage our hearts so much to know that her story and her life are still touching others! SO, if you take the opportunity to do that please please share with us! And lastly, please say a prayer for us on the 30^th especially, as we remember her this year.

Thanks for considering joining us in remembering her life and legacy in this meaningful way this year for her 6^th! We haven’t been on this journey alone. Along the way many encouraging and supportive friends and family have helped us stand when we felt incapable and walk when we were crippled and rest when we were weary. For those of you who continue to encourage us and also remember her with us, for those of you who openly speak about her life not just her loss and what it has meant to you…THANK YOU doesn’t even touch how grateful we are for YOU!

Happy 6^th Birthday Joeli Grace Dougherty!

~Abi Dougherty

“We miss you every day and we miss you in every way. But we know there’s a day when we will see you, we will see you!” -Watermark

Apple butter

6 lbs. apples – peeled, cored, and sliced (I used Gala)

1.5  cups water

1.5  cups sugar

2  cups brown sugar

1  tbsp cinnamon

3/4 tsp. ground cloves

1 tsp. nutmeg

.5 tsp allspice

Neighborhood football games, Jesus and once over lightly eggs...

Lately my amazing hubster has been slightly obsessed with the Growth Mindset.

He happily responded to our oldest daughters words of encouragement to her little sis the other night, "keep trying" with his own, "That's great Seana, that's right when we can't do something the first time we just have to keep working at it!"

So, Sadie keeps trying to leap the whole distance between the sofas and after a few try's she successfully lands on the opposite sofa instead of in the gap. Happily Daddy comes around the corner, "Wait a minute, you mean to tell me that at first you couldn't do it but you kept working at it and now you can do it? Wow!"

It's his new favorite approach to life and faith. Kind of the old nothing comes natural to nobody thought! We all have to work at things to be successful, to achieve and to overcome.

Recently Sean and I talked about how this approach and mindset could really make such a huge difference for many lives of those walking with God but then give up or give in when things get tough or they feel they've failed or they feel they'll never be able to overcome a certain sin or struggle. When we take a step back and recognize that living for God takes practice and when we accept that and are okay essentially with "failures" and viewing them, instead of failures, as opportunities to improve, grow, mature, learn and be challenged it changed us! It changes our outlook! And that can change our whole course!

Recently I read a short devotional by Max Lucado and he talked about how as a kid there were many neighborhood football games after school and most of the time he ended up on the losing team. He said one of the dads would get home from work and all the kids would be begging him to come play football. He was a huge guy and a football lover so he would willingly join and would kindly ask which team was losing so he could join it. Max said when this guy entered the huddle it was like a whole new game.
     "He was confident, strong and most of all, he had a plan"
Max goes on to say how God is like this for us! He says they didn't need a new play but a new plan and player. I was thinking about how a good leader and team captain would not desert his team after a loss or mistake/failure. Instead, a good team leader would support, encourage, lead and guide his player to improve and he would give opportunity or learning and growth! This is Christ for us! He lovingly stands by us through our trials, faults and failures and allows us to learn and grow and He helps us along the way!

Tonight I started thinking about how I stink so bad at making once over lightly eggs. I asked myself why is it that I just cannot make them like some people all pretty and perfect. I wondered if it I because I don't like them myself so I therefore make less of them in my lifetime... Or is it because there is pretty much not a way to mess up scrambled eggs, ha ha! I do think it mostly comes down to my lack of practice and experience. Here is where the growth mindset comes in...

Psalm 116:6 says, "When I was helpless, He saved me!" Max shared this verse at the beginning of his devotional. And how fitting! When we are humbly willing to recognize and accept that we, at times, and in certain areas of our lives and our walk with Him are helpless, we can give ourselves the opportunity to grow! And not just areas we are helpless, but also areas and times in our lives when we may falter, fail, struggle, or wander aimlessly. He is there as a supportive team captain, ready to guide and teach and offer us opportunities to develop as team players! Benching or sidelining us, He knows would do us no good... So, why do we so often sideline ourselves?

Tonight, if you're struggling or feeling like you have that one area of weakness spiritually that just can't be defeated or overcome...put yourself back in the game with an assurance, hope and joy that He wants you in the game! He believes in you and your ability to grow and overcome!

I'm gonna keep working at those once over lightly eggs;) will you keep walking out your faith despite the struggle?

So much love and prayers,
Abi

Favorite Thanksgiving Recipes

Favorite Thanksgiving Recipes

Orange-Cranberry Relish

Ingredients:

• 1 orange
• 2 cups (or one and a half bags) fresh or frozen cranberries (about 8-10 ounces)
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 1/4 cup chopped walnut pieces (I like more like 3/4 a cup or more finely grated)

Directions:

Finely grate the zest of the orange, then squeeze in all of the juice or blend together in magic bullet. All cranberries blended well/finely chopped in magic bullet. Stir well all ingredients and enjoy:)

Green Bean Deluxe

Ingredients: 
2 large bags of green beans (stringed and ready to cook)
1 small onion
2 bags of bacon

Directions:
Boil large pot of water
Add green beans and steam until soft
Meanwhile, cook bacon at 400 until cooked to a crisp
Also, sautée and chop small the onion in a dose of olive oil
When all done, stir all prepared ingredients together thoroughly and enjoy!


Caramel Pecan Pie

• 10-12 oz coarsely chopped pecans or whole
• 2 cups all-purpose flour 
• 2/3 cup powdered sugar 
• 3/4 cup butter, cubed 
• 1/2 cup firmly packed brown sugar 
• 1/2 cup honey 
• 2/3 cup butter 
• 3 tablespoons whipping cream 
• Bag of caramels (remove wrappers and place candies all over top of pie before final bake time)
• 1. Arrange pecans in a single layer on a baking sheet. Bake at 350° for 5 to 7 minutes or until lightly toasted. Cool on a wire rack 15 minutes or until completely cool.
• 2. Pulse flour, powdered sugar, and 3/4 cup butter in a food processor 5 to 6 times or until mixture resembles coarse meal. Pat mixture evenly on bottom and up sides of a lightly greased pie pan
• 3. Bake at 350° for 20 minutes or until edges are lightly browned. Cool 15 minutes or until completely cool.
• 4. Bring brown sugar, honey, 2/3 cup butter, and whipping cream to a boil in a 3-qt. saucepan over medium-high heat. Stir in toasted pecans, and spoon hot filling into prepared crust.
• 5. Add caramels and Bake at 350° for 25 to 30 minutes or until golden and bubbly. Cool 30 minutes or until completely cool.

GO PRO... OR go home

Somehow having several labors and deliveries and children makes me a "pro".... let me tell you, there is nothing PRO about it...each pregnancy is unique with unique struggles and joys and the same with each labor delivery and raising each child throughout their growing. I will admit, I struggle with anxieties and fears. I just wanted to take a moment to be really vulnerable... It's easy to get sucked in to all the fears I have. I feel like I talk about this often, but sorry, it's something I struggle with so it's easy for me to find myself confronting this battle and these reminders often in order to be the overcomer I believe He is crafting me to be. So, here I go again talking about it:

First and foremost with pregnancy anymore is my fear of losing my child before they are born. After experiencing our loss of Joeli Grace at 5 months for unknown reasons I suppose it's only natural to fear this and pray against it constantly. Next, is a fear for delivery that something could go wrong. We've not experienced some of the more traumatic deliveries. However, with Sadie our "rainbow baby" we almost lost her when her heart-rate dropped and many medical professionals (probably went from one nurse in our room to ten to fifteen in a matter of seconds) rushed into the room talking about the Operating Room and Emergency C-Sections if we couldn't find a way to regulate her heart-rate. Thankfully, moving me into a new labor position seemed to help and she was okay... other than that and having to be checked by NICU staff because of meconium and me not being able to hold her or hear her cry for the first 5 to ten minutes after her birth (so traumatic after everything with Joeli was really just hoping for a simple birth without scares). But now the fears I'm battling are still the first two, and also because my platelets and iron are teetering on the low level and I've been told the potential risks involved if they drop any lower before delivery.

If I'm not careful, any or all of these fears and concerns (whether legitimate or not) can drown out that still small voice of God. His Word it says is, "Sharper than a double edged sword"- Hebrews 4:12. So when I have an enemy (FEAR) I'm facing, I must use this weapon God has given me and I must STAND UP! I must FIGHT! And I must face this enemy like the warrior woman God has been crafting me to be!

So, when I am facing my fears and anxieties I will ask myself do I want to go pro or go home? Not pro in that I know it all or will ever be a pro at any of this... BUT, that I go to the ONE who is the pro and trust Him with all this and more! Some may be uncomfortable with talking about FEAR... so be advised.

Make the Lord of Heaven’s Armies holy in your life.He is the one you should fear. He is the one who should make you tremble. Someone may say to you, “Let’s ask the mediums and those who consult the spirits of the dead. With their whisperings and mutterings, they will tell us what to do.” But shouldn’t people ask God for guidance? Should the living seek guidance from the dead? Look to God’s instructions and teachings! People who contradict his word are completely in the dark. Isaiah 8:13, 19-20

Will you make the choice to GO to GOD instead of seeking other sources of wisdom and help? He is the ONE who should be feared and the only One whom should make me tremble. 

So, will YOU choose whom you shall fear and revere?

Will you stand up and be that WARRIOR and fight your battle with the incredible weapon you've been given? HIS WORD. I have been thinking about this powerful weapon all week since Sean read the passage from Ephesians for devotions early this week for our family:

Ephesians 6:13 Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. 14 Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. 15 For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared.[d] 16 In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil.[e] 17 Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

18 Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.[f]

For all the things in this life I will never be pro at, I'm thankful to have the PRO to go to. I am constantly amazed at how His word truly does bring such comfort, peace, wisdom and hope to my heart no matter what I am battling.

Today I am reminded of the POWER of this Word--power to provide HOPE in hopeless situations, power to provide comfort in desperately painful times, power to work in cleansing my heart and leading me out of sinful patterns, power to encourage and bless, power to bring peace amidst fear, power to restore marriage, power to give wisdom where confusion exists.

If you're seeking God and these powerful things in your life but don't know where to start, I would encourage you to seek God in His word. A great website is www.biblegateway.com and a wonderful phone app is YouVersion. I have learned and been reminded of so much while doing the Read Through The Bible in a Year app:) Or, feel free to ask me about my walk with God. I don't promise to have all the answers, but I truly believe with all my heart and soul I've found The One who does and I'm ever grateful in this crazy mixed up world to have HIM to turn to in my hurts, sorrows, disappointments and failures, fears, and everything in between.

I'm going PRO :) how bout you? :)

much love,

Abi

Spilled Juice...but who was angry?

It was a busy day. I was cranky because we haven't had heat (or air, might I add, during the heat wave a little bit ago) and I was chilly. I had already done dishes, started laundry, cleaned and swept and wiped tables down, and started school with Seana AND cleaned up other messes.

I was tired.

And with not feeling well for a couple weeks now all I wanted was to go through the rest of the day and basically find rest.

Instead, in the middle of correcting Joeby and teaching Seana, Sadie comes downstairs and tells me her juice (not the typical non-stain happy apple juice I like to give them mind you, but cranberry to fight  the lovely UTI which as consumed our days with innumerable bathroom visits recently) has, "Spilled everywhere!"

I.was.not.happy!

Okay, okay, I'll be honest, I was ANGRY!

I marched my way up the stairs and asked her to show me where she spilled it. Then I asked her how it happened. I was surprised by her answer. She told me how Joeby tried to bring it down to her and she wanted to do it herself so that made her mad. She said she brought it back up and slammed it on the table and she even demonstrated the look she had on her face while doing so.

Initially, I wanted to tell Sadie to be more careful... But when I realized that this spill had nothing to do with clumsiness or lack of careful handling something spoke to my heart.

I began to pray. I thanked God that He cared enough about my little girl that He didn't want her anger to just go unnoticed. I thanked Him that He wanted her heart to be molded and teachable and that he wanted her to grow in wisdom and knowledge, patience and gentleness and that He wanted to produce a fruit of righteousness in her little heart and life. He allowe her "act" to be caught so that He could work out something more in her!

And then I prayed for me. I prayed for His wisdom in this teachable moment and I prayed He would guide me with parenting her and guiding her. And I thanked Him for trusting me with the task of helping Him shape her.

After we finished cleaning most of the mess I asked Sadie to go to her room and think about what her choice to be angry instead of grateful at Joebys trying to help and bless her accomplished. I asked her to sit quietly and think.

Of course she didn't. She went back and quietly found nail polish and started painting her nails while I was still cleaning the remaining mess. But that's a whole other blog post about my sweetie May. Ha!  

Anyway, while I finished cleaning God brought a few scriptures to mind and some words to share with Sadie.

Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, (Ephesians 4:26 NASB) is one of the passages He reminded me of.

God helped me take a step back in my own busy-ness and messy heart to recognize another little heart He wants to take a more beautiful shape.

But it doesn't stop there. Because I am still His little girl too. So, what did God teach me in that spilled juice moment? To take a step back from what is seen and for a moment recognize what is unseen and eternal. The bigger picture, the deeper purpose of even something as minor as spilled juice. And He helped me step back from my own anger and my own preoccupations and recognize His hand at work!  He helped me to be molded and shaped just as He was shaping little Sadie too. I'm so grateful He cares sou h for me that sometimes He lets the juice spill.

Sometimes, it makes a giant mess.

Sometimes, it may even stain a rug or two and leave a permanent reminder of the work He has done.

Sometimes, it may take a long long time to clean up my messes.

Sometimes, I may need to help someone else with their mess in order to see my own through a clearer lense.

And always, He cares when He lets the juice spill He has enough left to fill the cup back up and let us keep drinking, learning, growing, trying...