Wednesday, January 8, 2014

"We miss you every day... but we know there's a day when we will see you!"


How do I feel about Joeli’s birth day?

Six years. Six years seems so long ago that I sat five months pregnant with our second child, completely devastated, in disbelief and barely able to breath, staring at a lifeless ultrasound screen. But, when I think about that night it feels like it’s only a breath away from me and steals my breath all the same.

Life doesn't always work out the way we pray, hope or wish. When I look at our family picture, it still feels it’s missing our Joeli. That doesn’t go away. And, time hasn’t healed the wound left in her absence. But, something very important has happened in these past six years. It’s something that doesn’t devastate me, but instead it brings me hope and a sense of peace. Peace, however, is something that I’ve learned doesn’t mean “healed’ or “whole” or even “a state of acceptance”, but instead, means a trust and a faith that remains despite all else being shaken and moved. Peace that is like a River, a rushing, often crushing or twisting or winding River. A river doesn’t always make sense or take the same easily gently flowing path. It is MOVING and changing and real and active. That is the peace I’ve found. And, the important thing that has happened over these past six years is that God has been with me through it all. He has led me closer to His heart. He has heard my prayers. He has brought me opportunity to share about His great love and grace through Joeli Grace. And my hope and I believe a calling on our family is that through our experience with her deeply painful loss we have and take the opportunity to walk alongside and encourage even one other couple facing a similar loss. I do believe, by God's grace, we have been able to do this. And to me, more than anything else, I see my precious daughters life and through these past six years I can do nothing more than thank God that I too, have been changed by her life. God is with us when life isn't going the way we planned. When we can't feel Him we must make a choice to believe in this promise anyway!

Shortly before I became pregnant with Joeli a prayer of mine was that God would open doors for me to be bold in sharing about His great love. I was asking Him to give me more opportunity to share about Him with others. I journaled about this and looking back can see God using Joeli’s life as an answer to that prayer. Her life and loss have opened the doors for so many people to hear about God’s love and His plan for our lives. She emboldened me. When I think of that I can smile because I believe she has truly touched so many lives in her short time with us. I can’t help but be so grateful to be the mom of such a beautiful blessing to this world!

I can smile, but I won’t lie, I also have done a lot of crying over the past six years when I think of her life cut short. We wish she was here! I wish she could be one of the older sisters in this crazy big messy goofy family fighting for a turn to hold our little Jemma. I wish she was blowing out six candles on her cake. I wish I was kissing her goodnight along with our other children. But, I am at peace (the kind I’ve found) and I truly believe with all of my heart she is with her Maker and oh how that makes my heart long for my true Home in Heaven one day.

She has led me closer to Him! She has made Heaven more near to my heart! She has changed this world because of her presence here! All of these are things I hope for my other children, as well. I hope they lead others closer to Him, I know they have already given me glimpses of the Fathers love like nothing else on earth could, and I hope they change this world for His glory! Because of her amazing brother and sisters, I feel her here sometimes. I see her smile in theirs. I can almost hear her laughter in their giggles. And I like to think of her smiling down on us knowing one day we’ll all be together glorifying our Maker hand in hand.

I have a couple requests of YOU for her Birth day this year. If your life has been touched by Joeli would you please take the opportunity to share the simple words, “God loves you!” with someone on January 30th? Maybe even share those simple words with six people in honor of her sixth… Maybe even take the time to tell someone God has a special plan for their life and tell them that a little girl named Joeli has touched you even before she breathed her first and so you KNOW God has great plans for their life too! How special would that be that YOU can be a part of God’s plan for her life too and share about His awesome gift of love and eternal LIFE?! It would bless and encourage our hearts so much to know that her story and her life are still touching others! SO, if you take the opportunity to do that please please share with us! And lastly, please say a prayer for us on the 30th especially, as we remember her this year.

Thanks for considering joining us in remembering her life and legacy in this meaningful way this year for her 6th! We haven’t been on this journey alone. Along the way many encouraging and supportive friends and family have helped us stand when we felt incapable and walk when we were crippled and rest when we were weary. For those of you who continue to encourage us and also remember her with us, for those of you who openly speak about her life not just her loss and what it has meant to you…THANK YOU doesn’t even touch how grateful we are for YOU!

Happy 6th Birthday Joeli Grace Dougherty!

~Abi Dougherty
“We miss you every day and we miss you in every way. But we know there’s a day when we will see you, we will see you!” -Watermark

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