Over the past month I had taken time away from social media for a season of surrender and quiet through Lent. It was, to be honest, super difficult and strange for the first few days. I had these urges to go check my social media sites "just to check in". It was a habit, and it felt strange not following through on those compulsions. But, after the first several days it truly became refreshing. Refreshing because I wasn't allowing those feelings to cause guilt, if I hadn't checked in that day. Refreshing because I had no feeling of "missing out" anymore. I felt like my time was more wisely spent during this past month. I even spent less time responding to emails, texts, messages and Voxers. Because of this, I was able to focus more on my children, my hubby, and the things that they needed from me in the quiet moments, because I wasn't filling the quiet moments with scrolling through a news feed or our pictures or making sure I had replied to the various emails, texts, Voxes and messages I'd gotten.
Ironically, the following couple weeks of my social media fast were spent transcribing a Doctoral thesis for someone who interviewed students from the OneLife program at LBC. OneLife is a program that enforces a media-less policy at LBC. Students give up cell phones, computers, they give up social media during the 9 month program and they give up Internet occasionally, as well. As I transcribed these interviews, I was struck by the common thread that I too was finding, that God, my relationship with Him and my ability to hear Him and see the beauty of His creation were being put secondary. I was too distracted by social media and the time and energy it consumes to just be present and find joy and life in the moment. I was struck also by the realization these students had come to, that their identity was being shaped and formed by the false realities these interfaces set up, rather than by simply living life.
I found myself again. I found myself in God's view again. And I found who I believe He has created and called me to be once again. Not that I had lost those altogether, but it had definitely become increasingly difficult to function from that place confidently and without apology. In part too because of the conflict social media often brought into my life. I had a lot of time for God to remind my heart of, not just the things I believe and the values and truths He has graciously poured into my heart, but the strength to unashamedly and unapologetically share them with humble strength and grace trusting Him who calls me to speak truth.
Sometimes it is hard to believe I will soon be entrusted with another child to raise. God has seen fit to bless me with children despite the various struggles along the way between endometriosis, cysts, a tumor, pain, and loss. There are so many times, as a social person, that I feel lonely for more and deeper connection. But, God showed me through this past month that these children are who He has given me so much time with day to day and they need me desperately to be present with them. I need His help so desperately to be a patient, loving and wise mom. I feel like so often I am short and overwhelmed and uncertain I have all it takes to homeschool-well, housekeep-well, wife-well, and be a good sister, daughter and friend too, and to find ways to serve God and the church well too. Sometimes I forget the value of investing my time and energy into building and shaping my children. But, the reality is that in the end, they become an extension of my love and efforts and shaping. It will be as if my hands can extend 5-fold out into this world, if I can just keep that viewpoint and remember that my time is well spent to pour all of the best of myself into their little hearts and lives.
Throughout this past month there was a real struggle physically for me. My health has been a battle since January I have had chronic sinus infections. First, a 5 week long one, which I avoided meds for; hence the 5 weeks of chronic coughing due to nasal drip, which then caused constant laryngitis. I had one glorious week of health and healing when I was able to do something so fulfilling for me in recording two new songs, which I can't wait to share with you all soon hopefully! But, after that, I came down with a fever and another kind of sinus infection that brought along with it THE WORST head/face-ache and ear aches of my life, with such horrendous pressure in my face and head. I've had this one now for several weeks and I finally relented and went on medication to try to help me find healing. Even with the meds though I was so sick and congested last week. My sweet hubby had made me a hot mug of water to sit over and let the steam try to loosen up my congestion. But, the kids started fighting over time on the iPad, so I said go set the timer for 10 minutes for each of you to have a turn. They didn't know how, so I said okay I'll just set the one on my phone and as I went to reach for it, the mug slipped from my other hand and spilled all down my chest. It gave me the worst burns I've ever had in my life. 2nd degree burns. It hurt SO BAD! The irony was, I was finally able to breath through my nostrils. For about 10-15 minutes my sinuses cleared and I felt like the little girl who fell down headfirst into the tree and found her miraculous healing. Sadly, the cleared sinuses clogged right back up just after that, and I had 2nd degree burns to show for it. *insert sad crying face* There were many times during this past month that I felt like I was under attack physically. And yet, in it all, God was still doing some major things in my heart and spirit. Now that I look at it from the spiritual perspective I can see the battle was raging over my heart and mind and spirit. I shed many, many, many, tears this past month. Some for real reasons, but many just out of emotionally and physically just feeling so out of it. I felt like anything could make me cry. (And just honestly, I cry easily so that probably hasn't and won't change too much) But, finding some relief physically, has given me the ability to find some strength and feel a little more leveled out again.
Each day make a joyful noise in this backWORDZ world. Choose to live life moment by moment in the extravagant love of your Father.
Sunday, April 2, 2017
Thursday, March 9, 2017
The Whole Truth and Nothing But The Truth
The whole truth and nothing but the truth
It was a Monday. Library day. I usually give the kids a book limit when we go, to avoid coming home with one hundred books. Okay, let me be honest (since this blog is supposed to be about honesty in the first place😜), it's actually to avoid the twenty dollar fine when I forget to return their books on time. Ha! Anyway, that day I gave them a 4 book limit. The kids did their usual search and eventually one of them came asking for a one book increase. When you have multiple children you have to be "fair". Equality takes on a whole new meaning in a large family. When I meal prep, all plates are created equal. When I get juice cups ready in the morning, all juice cups are filled to the exact mark on the exact same cups with the exact same precision. When I buy one a candy they happen to eye at the grocery check out, the other is given a chance to buy their favorite candy too. Just to keep things equal.
All that being said, the library book limit was readily increased to five books for all. You know, just to keep things "equal".
Somehow, when I checked out the amount the librarian quoted seemed to be quite larger than I'd anticipated. I knew we had some books at home missing from the count yet that had to be renewed again. That threw the count off. But, I was still left wondering how our count was so high.
When we got home I tried to, yet again, equally divvy out the books so that each child had to keep track of exact amounts. When I asked the kids to count their books so that I could hand out a few extra to each child to keep track of, one child in particular was looking at me strangely when I asked how many books they had.
At first I did not think much of it. But as I continued to question my little one about how many books they had, the evasiveness and questions I got in return caused me to begin wondering what was going on. Eventually I realized there was deception going on. Initially, my heart sank. I thought to myself, why... Why even after I increased the amount did they feel they had to hide more from me? Why did they not just ask me for another extra? Why hide it?
I thought about the small-ness of this infraction. The fact that I could have just brushed it off completely. (Thus giving my mommy hat a toss to the shelf for one of the day's teachable moments and therefore giving me five extra minutes to simply sit and "just be" after the library excursion). The fact that I could have scolded this child but then left things as they were.
But, I realized in that moment it was a teachable moment. They chose to lie. They chose to deceive and be sneaky. This was a small and seemingly insignificant blip... But it is in those moments that we can make a big impact on our children's future choices if we choose to spend the time and invest in teaching and instilling wisdom into their hearts.
So, I sent them on to a quiet time of reflection on their choice, while I prayed.
I asked for God to help me know how to best handle the situation. I asked for His wisdom to help them learn a valuable life lesson from this decision. And I asked for Him to speak into this young heart.
Then I called my little one back out to the living room. We discussed the decision they'd made, how it made me feel having been deceived and disobeyed. We discussed how it made them feel. We discussed how the situation could have been handled differently. And ultimately, we discussed how these small choices to lie, to hide things and to deceive can play into bigger decision making in the future. We talked about how library books are small things, but big decisions we have to make as adults can have much bigger ramifications and we discussed how a lie, deception or a hidden truth can often grow that difficulty and pain NOT lessen it. It's always best to go about things in an honest and forthright way. Teaching this valuable life lesson now is going to be so much better now than when it involves boyfriends or girlfriends or spouses or jobs or money or financial issues later on in life.
Satan is called many times throughout scripture as the father of lies. I want my children to know that a lie is never what God wants and what pleases Him. It is always something the enemy is behind and trying to pull us into the tangled webs it can create. Truth is always Gods way, even when the truth is so difficult to speak or to live out, it is always the right thing. I want my kids to have the strength and wisdom to know that being honest will always be worth the surrender and humility it may take. Being honest can lead to restoration, healing and hope. Dishonesty and lies only lead to destruction, pain, mistrust and broadening difficulty. I want our children to know we will be parents who will always forgive and accept them in their honesty... That their lies or deception or sin may bring with it natural and sometimes given consequences for their actions or words, but that the payoff is the guilt-free conscience and knowing they are walking in truth. Truth brings freedom.
My prayer for my friends and family is that we walk in this knowledge and make the difficult decisions we need to make to walk in the freedom of truth no matter how difficult the path to that may be.
❤️🙏🏼
Thursday, December 29, 2016
Gratitude
"Did you see how small my pile of gifts is? I barely have any gifts to open."
How often is my focus similar to that of a child's? How I look only at what I "Do NOT" have, rather than focusing on the blessing and beauty of ALL I DO have. How Gods heart breaks when He hears the ungrateful heart attitude I have. How He longs for me to shift my focus onto the blessings and off of what I feel is missing or lacking, or even maybe what I feel I would have to work too hard for or strive too long for.
God open our eyes and shift their focus onto ALL that we DO have from your loving hands and off of what we feel is missing or lacking in the gifts we have been given.
YOU have given us SO much! Above all, you've given us the gift of your precious son! And through Him, the gift of Life and Grace! Thank You! In Jesus name, amen!
How often is my focus similar to that of a child's? How I look only at what I "Do NOT" have, rather than focusing on the blessing and beauty of ALL I DO have. How Gods heart breaks when He hears the ungrateful heart attitude I have. How He longs for me to shift my focus onto the blessings and off of what I feel is missing or lacking, or even maybe what I feel I would have to work too hard for or strive too long for.
God open our eyes and shift their focus onto ALL that we DO have from your loving hands and off of what we feel is missing or lacking in the gifts we have been given.
YOU have given us SO much! Above all, you've given us the gift of your precious son! And through Him, the gift of Life and Grace! Thank You! In Jesus name, amen!
Wednesday, November 30, 2016
NEVER Put Your Fine China in the Microwave (A Message On Marriage)
When we were young and early on in marriage, I loved using our fine china whenever I had a chance. But that was not often. One day I remember I wanted to reheat my coffee. I had my fine china tea cup all ready to go, popped it into the microwave and waited. It did not take long, after only just a few seconds I heard an awful popping noise and looked over to see sparks flying off of the silver lining on my mug!
As quickly as I could, I sprang over and opened the microwave door.
NEVER put your Fine China in the microwave!
Lesson learned!
So, on Sunday we had about 33 people over after Seana was baptized. I brought out my fine china tea cups and placed them by the coffee machine for anyone who wanted some coffee. This morning, as I prepared a cup of reheated coffee for myself I saw the fine china drying on the counter top and it hit me... NEVER put your fine china in the microwave. God spoke to me immediately. He said: Abi, this is a metaphor for your marriage. You cannot rush something that is beautiful and you can't treat idly something that is of great value and made with incredible detail and intricate and delicate design. You must treat it as the valuable treasure it is! You must treat it with gentle, patient, care.
When I consider how I treat my fine china, I remembered too that I cannot put it into my dishwasher either. I always wash each piece by hand. Carefully, gently, slowly.
This is how God wants us to treat our marriages.
Be patient. Beauty and value deserves patience and time. Do not rush through the work and effort and time marriage takes. Don't microwave.
Be careful. Treat marriage with dignity and value.
Protect it, be gentle with it. Handle it with care.
This is what Jesus desires of marriage, that we treasure it and value it and protect it. Jesus says marriage is designed by God. He said it was meant to be a representation of our union with Him! That is why Rick Warren says it is demeaned, discouraged, ridiculed, redefined and dismissed by our culture today.
I have been so humbled and honored all at once to be asked to speak again this coming year at Friendship Circle in February. I've been asked to speak on marriage. Last time I spoke there I spoke about our body and Gods desire for us to be His Temple! I so appreciated the prayer support I had leading up to sharing that message. So, I want to humbly ask that if you're reading this today that you would pray.
Pray for protection on my marriage as I prepare to speak.
Pray for the marriages that will be impacted by what God has to speak through me.
Pray God lays His Words on my heart and that I adequately speak His truth.
Thank you and may God bless your marriage in a special way today! May we treat them as they fine china they truly are!
As quickly as I could, I sprang over and opened the microwave door.
NEVER put your Fine China in the microwave!
Lesson learned!
So, on Sunday we had about 33 people over after Seana was baptized. I brought out my fine china tea cups and placed them by the coffee machine for anyone who wanted some coffee. This morning, as I prepared a cup of reheated coffee for myself I saw the fine china drying on the counter top and it hit me... NEVER put your fine china in the microwave. God spoke to me immediately. He said: Abi, this is a metaphor for your marriage. You cannot rush something that is beautiful and you can't treat idly something that is of great value and made with incredible detail and intricate and delicate design. You must treat it as the valuable treasure it is! You must treat it with gentle, patient, care.
When I consider how I treat my fine china, I remembered too that I cannot put it into my dishwasher either. I always wash each piece by hand. Carefully, gently, slowly.
This is how God wants us to treat our marriages.
Be patient. Beauty and value deserves patience and time. Do not rush through the work and effort and time marriage takes. Don't microwave.
Be careful. Treat marriage with dignity and value.
Protect it, be gentle with it. Handle it with care.
This is what Jesus desires of marriage, that we treasure it and value it and protect it. Jesus says marriage is designed by God. He said it was meant to be a representation of our union with Him! That is why Rick Warren says it is demeaned, discouraged, ridiculed, redefined and dismissed by our culture today.
I have been so humbled and honored all at once to be asked to speak again this coming year at Friendship Circle in February. I've been asked to speak on marriage. Last time I spoke there I spoke about our body and Gods desire for us to be His Temple! I so appreciated the prayer support I had leading up to sharing that message. So, I want to humbly ask that if you're reading this today that you would pray.
Pray for protection on my marriage as I prepare to speak.
Pray for the marriages that will be impacted by what God has to speak through me.
Pray God lays His Words on my heart and that I adequately speak His truth.
Thank you and may God bless your marriage in a special way today! May we treat them as they fine china they truly are!
Wednesday, November 9, 2016
Why we proudly wear red!
Our Children know that in the end, moral policies, such as the right to life for the unborn--the most vulnerable and defenseless among us--is of utmost importance. They understand that not just because of Trump, but because of those he has surrounded himself with and those in the House and Senate majority now, the unborn may finally have a voice and a chance to the most basic human right LIFE, not a death sentence. It is time for abortion to go back to hell where it came from! It is time for us to stop abusing women and standing for a "right" that only robs--robs health physically and mentally from a woman, robs life from a child, and robs family from a society. Our children know that the policies and moral decisions that Trump and his co-leaders and our Republican House and Senate will make will help our Nation function in a God-honoring and Bible believing way again and for that we praised God together today for answered prayers! Trump is by no means a perfect man, I'll say it again. But he has chosen to surround himself with wise, God-fearing men and women who will help to hopefully guide his heart into a blessed walk nearer to God than we have been in for years in this Nation. One Nation UNDER GOD, indivisible with Liberty and Justice for
A L L!!
We continue to pray for Trump, for the Clintons, the Obamas and for our great Nation! May God bless America! May the hate speech from both "camps" be deaded in Jesus name! Today, we proudly wear red. Not because the Republican Party is where our hope lies or where we place our allegiance. But rather, because we know that the policies and values we hold close as Christ-followers are more strongly upheld by those in the Republican Party. And we hope to see he evil practice of murdering the unborn be a part of Americas past that we can grieve and move forward into integrity and decency again!
Friday, September 30, 2016
Heart Healthy Orange Sugar Cookies
1 C cold water
1 stick salted butter
1 stick unsalted butter (I like Kellers)
3 Tbsp ground flax seed
1/2 C Bee Pollen
5 1/2 C flour
1 1/4 C organic cane sugar
2 tsp baking powder
3 Tbsp orange zest
Scoop out 1 Tbsp (greased with olive oil) portions of cookies and top with one walnut each. Bake at 375* for 7 minutes.
Sunday, August 14, 2016
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